Star Wars/Forgotten Realms author Paul S. Kemp has this to say about my next novel The Returning: “The Returning blends themes of faith with classic space opera tropes and the result is a page-turning story that takes off like a rocket.”
Here’s more info, including the previous blurb, and I expect a cover image in the next two weeks:
“The Returning has romance, assassins, tension, both modern and classic science fiction notions, and very smooth writing. What more could you want? Bryan Thomas Schmidt keeps improving. As good as The Worker Prince was, The Returning is better.” – Mike Resnick
“A fun space opera romp, complete w/ intrigues, treachery, dastardly villains, and flawed but moral heroes.” Howard Andrew Jones (Pathfinder: Plague Of Shadows, The Desert Of Souls) on THE RETURNING
Sequel to The Worker Prince, The Returning is forthcoming this June. Book 2 in the Saga Of Davi Rhii, the back cover copy reads as follows:
The Vertullians are free and have full citizenship but that doesn’t mean they’re accepted. Now someone is sending assassins to kill and terrorize them and it’s riling up old enmity all over again. The new High Lord Councilor, Tarkanius, Lord Aron, and Captain Davi Rhii find themselves fighting all over again to preserve the unity of the Borali Alliance, while forces from within and without work against them in an attempt to tear it apart.
Meanwhile, Davi and Tela are struggling to keep their romance alive in the midst of busy lives filled with drama and stress and Miri’s adjusting to her new status as a non-royal. The action packed, emotional, exciting Davi Rhii story continues.
Although it’s not out until June, you can preorder The Returning today for $10.11 at Barnes & Noble (31% off the cover price).
Recently I came across a situation that reminded me how important transitions and seeding story details are to good fiction. These are things which most pros do without even thinking about it, but up and coming writers, learning craft, probably have to be more deliberate about. I will not specify where I encountered this but will give examples and suggestions how to handle this better. By transitions, in this case, I am talking not about segways between scenes, but rather, transitions in introducing new world elements so that we accept them as organic. And by seeding, I mean subtly introducing these things early enough so that when they become key to the story we have no trouble believing they belong there. (These are the best terms I can come up with to describe it, so that’s what we’re going with.)
You can put anything you want in your world but it has to fit together in a way that feels organic for the reader. Thus, you must carefully consider what you introduce, how you do it and when you do it. Foreshadowing it, planting seeds early and transitioning properly are essential.
In the case at hand, the story is a mixed genre story with both epic fantasy and science fiction elements. For the first six chapters, though, it’s all epic fantasy, clear and plain. Then, all of a sudden, these important characters from afar are said to have a space ship. Later, the protagonist is on the space ship and they pass a planet and he has a revelation that the planet has elves.
My reader’s reaction was a laugh and a “WHAT?!!” Which is NOT the reaction you want, believe me. It threw me out of the story and made me question the plausibility. Why are there elves and space ships? Just because the author likes them or is it organic to the world? The way it’s written, they don’t feel organic but as it turns out, the elves and the space travel are vital parts of the later story and world. They can’t be cut and they definitely are not thrown in there just to have tropes the author likes. There are good reasons. So the issue here is they are not handled appropriately. So I made some suggestions and I’ll share them with you.
Early on, the protagonist explores cities and the world. If the protagonist saw sky highways with space ships or flying cars of some kind, we’d know subtly that this is not your typical fantasy world and to expect space travel and SFnal elements. Another possibility is to have laser guns mixed with the swords. Just a subtle mention of either would have laid groundwork to make the later space ship reveal much more plausible.
BUT the author has set up a world where one group hogs all the fuel and space travel is thus not available to everyone. So the world where the story starts has no space travel. How can one reveal it as not sudden then?
One way is to have foreigners come by space ship as merchants to trade. Another might be to have disabled ships grounded with no fuel and comment on the situation when they appear.
If you, as an author, box yourself into a situation where elements necessary to your world are so limited, you still have to do the work to find a way to introduce them as possibilities so you don’t lose plausibility or chase off readers. Inventing such restrictions does make it hard for yourself but that doesn’t excuse you from doing the work to make it believable.
The same is true of the elves. If he encountered elven merchants, traders or vendors in the market on his wanderings, it would be no surprise when they turn up later on a neighboring planet. No dialogue or interaction would have to occur, it could all be descriptive passages as the protagonist observes the world.
In this case, however, there are no elves on that planet and he would not encounter them because they are alienated. So such a set up would also be inorganic to the world. So how to handle it?
One way is to have references to elves earlier. There could be problems that people comment on: “If the elves weren’t banished, this would totally seem like their handiwork” Or “Those nasty elves, always making trouble” or “This looks like the kind of trouble we’d expect from elves, not our own people.”
Another is to have the elves just appear as the protagonist encounters them and have him ask all the questions we as readers would ask. Our discovering them along with him would make it far more plausible.
In this case, since he’s traveling with others, they could tell him “we’re doing to see the elves” and have a dialogue about those questions before hand.
Whichever way is chosen, it would lay groundwork so it’s not like elves just appear out of nowhere and make us shake our heads as to why they are there. World building is hard. It takes attention to detail even beyond what you need for the story. You may not need to describe certain aspects but you need to know them because they affect other things. Food chain affects diet, even if you never have to describe it. Geography affects diet and availability of resources, etc. And those elements you do include must but introduced well so that they seem natural and not unexpected. In both the above cases, I was thrown out of story with “why are there suddenly space ships/elves” and “why didn’t we see them earlier.” In this case, the writer has a strong vision, but she’s still learning this aspect of craft, so my job as editor is to point that out and suggest ways to resolved the issues. As I explained, the author had good reasons for this, but we are not going to stick around and find out what they are if we are not sold on them. Because if we think the author doesn’t have a plan, we lose confidence and our interest wanes. Unless we have a compelling reason to read on (it’s a friend or family member), you may well lose us as readers.
So transitions and seeding are vital skills to learn and use as writers. What are some similar issues you’ve observed in reading/workshopping stories? How did you resolve them? Please share in comments so we can all learn.
For what it’s worth…
Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novelThe Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. A frequent contributor to Adventures In SF Publishing, Grasping For The Wind and SF Signal, he can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog. Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.
Just in from my friend/mentor and one of my favorite authors, a blurb for my second novel: “THE RETURNING has romance, assassins, tension, both modern and classic science fiction notions, and very smooth writing. What more could you want? Bryan Thomas Schmidt keeps improving. As good as THE WORKER PRINCE WAS, THE RETURNING is better.” – Mike Resnick
Sequel to The Worker Prince, The Returning is forthcoming this June. Book 2 in the Saga Of Davi Rhii, the back cover copy reads as follows:
The Vertullians are free and have full citizenship but that doesn’t mean they’re accepted. Now someone is sending assassins to kill and terrorize them and it’s riling up old enmity all over again. The new High Lord Councilor, Tarkanius, Lord Aron, and Captain Davi Rhii find themselves fighting all over again to preserve the unity of the Borali Alliance, while forces from within and without work against them in an attempt to tear it apart.
Meanwhile, Davi and Tela are struggling to keep their romance alive in the midst of busy lives filled with drama and stress and Miri’s adjusting to her new status as a non-royal. The action packed, emotional, exciting Davi Rhii story continues.
Although it’s not out until June, you can preorder The Returning today for $10.11 at Barnes & Noble (30% off the cover price).
Well, I know my writers have been patiently but yet anxiously waiting for an announcement, so here it is. These are the stories accepted for the anthology SPACE BATTLES: Full Throttle Space Tales #6, in a series from Flying Penn Press. Releasing around April 18, edited by myself and headlined by Mike Resnick and Jean Johnson, this anthology is original stories (non-reprints) of space opera and military scifi focused all of which have space battles as pivotal to their plot. We are still playing with the story order so that may change but the content itself is final. Congrats and thank you to all the writers!
Between The Rocks by Anna Paradox The Thirteens by Gene Mederos Like So Much Refuse by Simon C. Larter Jump Point Blockade by David Lee Summers (Other stories in this series appear in other Full Throttle Space Tales anthologies) First Contact by Patrick Hester (first sale) Isis by Dana Bell Book of Enoch by Matt Cook (first anthology sale) Joystick War by Jean Johnson (A Theirs Not To Reason Why series story; her first novel in this series is up for a Philip K. Dick Award this year) Never Look Back by Grace Bridges The Gammi Experiment by Sarah Hendrix (first SF story sale) Space Battle Of The Bands by C.J. Henderson (C.J. continues his popular Full Throttle Space Tales story series) A Battle For Parantwer by Anthony R. Cardno (first SF story sale) With All Due Respect by Johne Cook Final Defense by Selene O’Rourke (first sale) Bait and Switch by Jaleta Clegg The Hand Of God by Bryan Thomas Schmidt (A Saga Of Davi Rhii Sequel set 20 years after the events of my novel series) Guard Dog by Mike Resnick and Brad R. Torgersen (Not a reprint but an original written specifically for this anthology; saved for last because of the powerful resonance of its ending)
Also, got the Honda looking cooler these days with the new tag. A publicist suggested it and I remembered my experiences as a singer with my customized plate. People asked me lots of questions when they saw it, so I thought $50 for 5 years is pretty cheap advertising. Since I always have a case of books in the back, why not? If this helps draw interest or sell a few, it’s totally worth it. It also is fun, to me, to be the only one in Kansas with SF AUTHR as his tag. There’s gotta be others out there, sure, but I got there first. Happens so rarely for me, it feels like a win. So why not?
So those of you around the Midwest, if you see a Blue Honda Civic with this tag, come find me and say hi. I’ll be at Cons and around other places. I’d love to see you.
Well, I got my first publishing related mention in Locus. Sometime last year I was listed in a photo caption for Rainforest Writer’s Village despite not actually being there for the picture (so that doesn’t count). The announcement of the sale of my second novel showed up yesterday with mention of my editor, Randy Streu, and some other cool people like my friend D.W. Grintalis, who sold her debut novel, Mike Resnick, who’s sold too many to count, etc. It’s a good feeling, because Locus is the industry zine (for those who don’t know) and it makes me feel more officially a part of things. It’s like a step on the ladder.
Another rung occurred when I sent review copies to Library Journal, Kirkus, Locus and Publisher’s Weekly. Didn’t get that done for The Worker Prince, to my regret. But good reviews from those would really boost credibility and sales, so here’s hoping they feel as good about book 2 as I and Randy do. I did send The Worker Prince along to Locus, since they don’t rule out reviewing books which have been out for a while. We’ll see. More waiting begins.
One way to be sure your manuscript is ready to submit is to make sure you get a good developmental edit. Now unless you’re making a lot of money already, paying someone may be out of the question. Most submissions editors will reject anything that’s not at least ninety percent there. They do line edits, proofing and fact checks, not developmental edits. So the onus is on you. If you’re like me, being close to your work, can prevent you from not only knowing what questions to ask but having the objectivity needed to view your work well. Some sort of guide would make a big difference.
In her Editing Basics class, Author-Editor Cat Rambo (Fantasy Magazine) offers the following checklist for doing a good multi-pass Developmental Edit yourself. Cat suggests a multi-pass approach to allow yourself to address various aspects one at a time instead of trying to catch-all in one pass. The checklist is broken out by pass type. But before you begin the checklist, ask yourself the following questions:
1) What works and what doesn’t overall? (Make a list)
2) What is the story? Can you sum it up in a few sentences? If not, there’s a problem.
3) Look at the first and last page. Do they hook the readers in 13 lines or less? Does the story end strong?
Once you’ve addressed these basics, you’re ready for the more detailed Developmental edits. Be sure and ask questions down to a scene level, not just about the whole manuscript.
Character Pass:
1) Are the characters likeable?
2) Are the characters acting or reacting?
3) Can readers identify with the characters?
4) Does the reader know what the character wants?
5) Are there too many characters? Can any be combined?
6) What are the missed opportunities?
7) Where don’t we understand what the character is doing?
8 ) Where can we go deeper into the character’s head?
9) Is the dialogue interesting and informative of character?
10) Can the reader put themselves inside the story?
Story Pass:
1) Is the ending set up in a satisfying way? Is it the result of character actions?
2) Does the story make sense or are pieces missing?
3) How does the story move? (Is pacing good?)
4) Should pieces be removed? (And what should be done with them?)
5) What are the secondary story lines and are they delivered on?
World Pass:
1) Is the world clear?
2) Does it feel generic? (Is it?)
3) Does it make sense?
4) How important is the science of it?
5) Where should we know more?
6) Are the facts right? (Light fact-checking)
7) Where can the world come forward more?
8 ) How are things ordered? Point A to Point B? Or more like Momento or Pulp Fiction?
9) How hard does it make things for the reader and is the effect achieved worth it? (Because if it’s not there for effect, it’s pointless.)
10) How can it be improved overall?
11) Are the conventions consistent?
12) Where are the info dumps and what strategies surround them?
Chapter Level:
1) Do the chapters make sense structurally?
2) Does something happen over the course of each chapter?
3) Does the POV change over the course of the chapter? (Should it?)
4) Is the Prologue or Epilogue necessary?
5) Is head hopping an issue?
6) How do you make the book match conventions?
Making these four Developmental Editing passes enables you to focus on specific aspects of your manuscript and strengthen them each in turn. You can be sure you’ll cover other aspects in other passes and thus free yourself to really focus in. I hope this helps you improve your editing strategies not just for your own work but in helping others. What are the questions and approaches you use to self-edit? I’d love to have you share them in comments. And if the checklist still isn’t enough, consider taking one of Cat’s fine classes. They are well worth the money and the time.
For what it’s worth…
John Barth described Cat Rambo’s writings as “works of urban mythopoeia” — her stories take place in a universe where chickens aid the lovelorn, Death is just another face on the train, and Bigfoot gives interviews to the media on a daily basis. She has worked as a programmer-writer for Microsoft and a Tarot card reader, professions which, she claims, both involve a certain combination of technical knowledge and willingness to go with the flow. In 2005 she attended the Clarion West Writers’ Workshop. Among the places in which her stories have appeared are ASIMOV’S, WEIRD TALES, CLARKESWORLD, and STRANGE HORIZONS, and her work has consistently garnered mentions and appearances in year’s best of anthologies. Her collection, EYES LIKE SKY AND COAL AND MOONLIGHT was an Endeavour Award finalist in 2010 and followed her collaboration with Jeff VanderMeer, THE SURGEON’S TALE AND OTHER STORIES.
She has edited anthologies as well as critically-acclaimed Fantasy Magazine, is a board member of feminist science fiction group Broad Universe, a member of the Codex Writers’ Group, and volunteers with Clarion West.
Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the Hugo-nominated, national bestselling author of the space opera novelThe Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has had several short stories in anthologies and magazines, including official entries in The X-Files, Predator, Joe Ledger, and Monster Hunter International. His fourth novel, Simon Says, is a pulse-pounding near future thriller about a tough macho Kansas City detective with a dislike of technology who must team with an android witness to find his missing partner. His forthcoming novel, Shortcut, has been sold to Roserock Films for development as a motion picture. He can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog. Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.
These are the acknowledgements I wrote to my second published novel, fourth novel I’ve written. It thanks a lot of online and real life people who deserve to share any credit for my success.
Acknowledgements
Writing your fourth novel and first sequel is an interesting
experience. And as I finished each chapter, I turned it over to a
dedicated trio of beta readers—Michelle Ristuccia, Lee Gunter and
Louis Shalako. Each brought different perspectives and experience as
readers and writers. And as is my wont, I did not look at any notes after
chapter 1 so it wouldn’t cloud my writing process. (I only looked at
chapter 1 because I wanted to be sure what they were giving me was
going to be useful. It was…quite useful!) Amazingly, once I got it all
together, and once I let them read The Worker Prince (they’d been
chosen as betas initially because they had no familiarity with it), they
kept telling me this book was better. Now it’s up to you to decide.
Despite all those who graciously assisted me in making this book a
reality and, I hope, a success, any errors or issues remain my own. So I
gratefully thank, in addition to the three wonderful betas listed above,
Kathy Williams, Mike Wallace, Anthony Cardno, Randy Streu, Jen
Connelly Ambrose, Tim Ambrose, and Diminished Media Group for
editing, input, proofing, feedback, encouragement, support and more.
And for loving my writing even at its worst in a way that continues to
amaze and inspire me to keep going.
I must add to the list those who taught me story craft: Ted Dale,
Ron Dyas, John Wells, Larry Ward, and so many at California State
University, Fullerton film school. Again writers like Leon C. Metz,
Robert Silverberg, Orson Scott Card, Mike Resnick, Ken Scholes, Jay
Lake, Kevin J. Anderson, Alan Dean Foster, Timothy Zahn, A.C.
Crispin and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. For support, encouragement and
friendship, Mary Robinette Kowal, Kat Richardson, John A. Pitts,
Brenda Cooper, Saladin Ahmed, Jason Sanford, Patty Jansen, Moses
Siregar III, Howard Andrew Jones, Jean Johnson, Patrick Swenson, and
all of the SFFWRTCHT regulars.
To the publicists and other friends who helped promote The Worker Prince, had me on their blogs, reTweeted, posted links, etc.,
mostly without my asking, especially Adonna Pruette and Matt
Staggs—thank you for supporting me. In supporting you, I never had
ulterior motives. It’s nice to know I don’t need them. Special thanks to
Paul Goat Allen for honoring The Worker Prince with Honorable
Mention on his Barnes & Noble Book Clubs Years Best Science
Fiction Releases of 2011. You have no idea how much that encouraged
me at just the right time.
To my dogs, “my babies,” Louie and Amelie for always reminding
daddy that he’s loved and that he takes things too seriously way too
often. Your companionship has seen me through so much. To family:
Ramon & Glenda Schmidt, Lara McCullough, Kyle McCullough, Karl
and Heather Schmidt for support. To Mitch Bentley for great artwork
and encouragement and Jeana Clark for the map. To friends like Charles
Davidson, Aaron Zapata, Tim Pearse, Greg Baerg, Shaun Farrell,
John Klima, Patrick Hester, John Anealio, Kaolin Fire, Sarah Hendrix,
Johne Cook, Grace Bridges, Jaleta Clegg, Matthew Sanborn Smith,
Charles A. Tan, John DeNardo, John Ottinger for all your support,
encouragement, and so much more. I am so blessed by your presence
in my life!
Last, but not least, to all the readers and reviewers who read The
Worker Prince and sent feedback or just told a friend. This is for you. I
hope we fixed the issues and grew in craft. And I hope you enjoy this
second chapter even more than the first and look forward with me to
the “more to come.”
God’s richest blessings on you all.
Bryan T. Schmidt
Ottawa, Kansas
Spring 2012
Had a great interview on the radio with Call FM’s Ben & Guillermo. At one point, Guillermo and Ben asked about which actor might play characters if my book were made into a movie. Afterwards, Guillermo asked me if there’d be a novelization (of the movie of the novel). He was obviously tired, but well, I couldn’t resist calling back in and ribbing him about it this week as they rerun my interview. And so here’s the call.
Cassa Fire, Space Opera, Dancing Lemur Press, 2012. Tpb/ebook $15.95/$4.99
An enjoyable read with well drawn leads that takes a while to suck you in but ultimately rises above its faults to provide a compelling and enjoyable read. I have not read book 1 in this series. So let me say some of my quibbles with it may well not be shared by those who have.
The action was well written and Cavanaugh uses some invented SFnal ideas here, including mental powers for two races, one limited to men, the other expanded by the entry of women. The developing relationship between the humans and Tgren as a result of this development makes for interesting drama and asks interesting questions. It also provides good fodder for further storylines.
His worldbuilding is very solid. The starships are well thought out and created well. You can definitely feel an 80s SF influence, Battlestar Galactica and Buck Rogers in particular, although I suppose Star Wars and Star Trek could be found in it as well.
The prose itself is solid. Cavanaugh is quite good at weaving description and dialogue and keeping things moving well. He handles multiple POV characters well and does a good job transitioning between scenes and chapters.
Action scenes are well written and handled and have appropriate pacing and tension, avoiding the silly dialogue which sometimes ensues.
Now for the quibbles:
First, the story didn’t hook me until Chapter 4. In part, I felt there wasn’t much going on at the beginning. The real action didn’t take place until later on. There were a number of passages with routine day to day character routines which I could have done without that slowed down the pace as well. The worldbuilding is solid but I wish the writer had found a way to get us into it with a bit more excitement. The result is a dragging pace until chapter 4 when it picks up more and more as it moves toward the middle and end.
Second, other than Byron and his love interest, I didn’t find the other characters very well drawn. They didn’t seem to have arcs of their own. Perhaps they were from book 1 and developed more fully there, but I think he could have added a bit more development in them to make it more interesting. The uncle of the love interest, however, does change a bit in his attitude, which was a nicely handled touch. I just would have liked to have seen more with other supporting characters for a richer, fuller canvass.
Third, because the story doesn’t have as much action as I expected from the cover (my fault not his but the cover did set expectations somewhat), I’d compare this more to a storyline from Star Trek:TNG or a thoughtful TOS episode than I would to something more action packed like Star Wars or Buck Rogers or even BSG in storyline/plot. I would have liked a bit more action. This last note, admittedly, is personal preference and not the writer’s fault. There’s just rich potential in the ships, characters and world for some really good action. Perhaps book 1 provides more of that. I do intend to read it.
Ultimately, I am giving this four stars because I think despite any flaws it’s well worth your time. Don’t let the pacing keep you from digging in. The SF ideas, cultures, and world are well developed and interesting. I would look forward to more stories. I do hope next round he’ll give us more action. And I hope he’ll develop some of the other characters as well. Regardless, if you like old fashioned space opera, this is a family friendly fun read. Recommended.
Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novelThe Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. A frequent contributor to Adventures In SF Publishing, Grasping For The Wind and SF Signal, he can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog. Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.
Ahhhh punctuation. A gift and yet a bane for us all, isn’t it? Editors fix way too much of it. Writers get confused and abuse too much of it. And the rest of the world scratches their head and gives up with a bevy of messages which start to look like this: cumin 2c u ok so b thr & b readE.”
Sigh.
Today’s Write Tip is the first in what will be an ongoing series on Editing. Why am I starting with this? Because it came up first in my freelance editing and I think it’s an area all of us need clarification on. I keep my rule of thumb handy and refer to it regularly, so here goes.
Let’s examine the most common special punctuation characters we encounter:
… Ellipses
— Em dash
– En dash
– Hyphen
Here’s my simple rules for their use, based on reviewing several style guides and online resources as well as grammar books. Yes, some variations do exist, but those can get pretty complicated. If you follow these simple rules, you’ll please most people, and at least use them well. (You can’t please everybody, so let’s not pretend that we can.)
RULE OF THUMB:
Ellipses (…)
An Ellipses (…) is appropriate if the speaker trails off leaving an incomplete sentence.
Example:“Well, I was going to talk about it, but…”
This could end a sentence or be mid-paragraph as their mind wanders:
Example: “Well, I was going to talk about it, but…hey, cool hat! I really like that. So where was I?”
Ellipses are also used for omission of words, phrases, lines or paragraphs from a quote, in which case they replace the missing portion(s).
Ellipses can also be used for missing or illegible words.
Example: “Bryan Thomas Schmidt’s “The Worker Prince” will appeal to readers of all ages…deftly explores a world where those who believe in one God labor against oppressors, and a single man may have the power to change their situation for the better…” — Brenda Cooper, Author of The Silver Ship and the Sea and Mayan December
Em dash (—)
An Em dash (—) is for when the speaker is cut off either by an event or another speaker.
Example: “I think we may have a problem here, but—” BOOM (car explodes).
Example: Tom was excited. “I think we may have a problem here, but—” “Just shut up and follow me!” Sara said and started running.
An Em dash (—) is also appropriate when a thought is interrupted with a clause such as: “The bass—the biggest fish Josh ever caught—was only six inches, don’t let him lie.”
En dash(–)
An En dash(–) is used when demonstrating numerical ranges such as 100–200 or when making compound adjectives with more than one word “pro–German Army campaign.” In this case, the pro–German Army are two words which must function together as one adjective.
The hyphen (-)
The hyphen (-) is often mistaken for a dash but a dash it is NOT. The hyphen (-) is for joining words, separating syllables, simple adjectives, such as “pro-German,” phone numbers, multi-word numbers, or in prefixes and suffixes.
Examples:
twenty-eight
co-star
ex-wife
girl-next-door
314-555-1212
syl-la-bi-fi-ca-tion
fighter-sized
line-of-sight
shell-like
anti-intellectual
I hope you get the idea. All of these can be greatly abused, of course, and paragraphs wind up looking like this:
I was hoping…well, anyway…never mind. Would you like to go to the zoo—the new one—with me? It’s not really that far…just down in line-of-sight of twenty-eighth in that pro-Italian community, you know?”
This is simply abuse. Please remember that the purpose of punctuation is to provide clarity, not make things more complex or unclear. They are designed to help readers and speakers know where to pause, where the clauses come together, where lines of thought diverge, etc. So use them wisely. Remember that if your publisher or editor has a style guide or subscribes to specific manual, such as The Chicago Manual of Style, you really need to consult that guide first before finalizing usage to avoid problems. It’s a matter of being a pro, as per last week’s post.
I hope the above rule of thumb is helpful. It certainly helps me. I’ll be working on more of these. Do you have requests?
Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novelThe Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. A frequent contributor to Adventures In SF Publishing, Grasping For The Wind and SF Signal, he can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog. Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.
Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012 along with the anthology Space Battles: Full Throttle Space Tales #6 which he edited for Flying Pen Press, headlined by Mike Rensick. As a freelance editor, he’s edited a novel for author Ellen C. Maze (Rabbit: Legacy), a historical book for Leon C. Metz (The Shooters, John Wesley Hardin, The Border), and is now editing Decipher Inc’s WARS tie-in books for Grail Quest Books. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chat every Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. A frequent contributor to Adventures In SF Publishing, Grasping For The Wind and SF Signal, he can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog. Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.
