January, 2012 |

Write Tip: Why Your Book Needs A Sell Sheet & How To Make One

Published on January 11, 2012March 9, 2020 by Bryan5 Comments

Book sell sheets are a key component of publicity for books in traditional publishing. Having a professional sell sheet can help distinguish your book from thousands of others and really help it get noticed. It’s important that it stand out from the crowd, because a mid-size bookstore can receive a hundred or more sell sheets a year. For your book to get noticed, you need to distinguish yourself and your book from the crowd. A professional presentation, careful selection of items to include, and proper placement of wording can make all the difference in the hands of the bookstore’s buyer on the other end.

Although you can do one book sell sheet for whole series, typically a sell sheet exists for each book you release.

Professional book publicist Adonna Pruette explains: “When you are making efforts to promote your new novel, you want to walk into the bookstore with at least two things in hand – your books (buy some to take with you!) and your sell sheet. You want to be able to hand the manager, owner, or book buyer an attractive sheet that will act as an actual sales piece after you leave. It’s wise to spend some time reading up on the basic rules of effective sales copy to make sure that your sell sheet makes the grade. You want to present your book (and yourself) well on paper so that your book can get it’s foot in the door at that bookstore.

“Please remember while you are designing your sell sheet to try and make it as quickly scannable as possible. You aren’t trying to bog them down with a full page of paragraphs. Use color, lists, and boxes where possible and effective to make it a quick read with all of the info that the store needs. The person that you hand this sheet too will read it just as you would – they are going to quickly scan it from top to bottom with their eye stopping briefly on focal points on the way down.”

Let’s cover the basic information suggested or expected, look at some examples, and then talk about how to make your own, okay?

This is the sell sheet for my novel The Worker Prince. It’s probably easier to just click on it and open a separate screen so you can view it as I go through the elements. I have marked them on the sheet for visual reference. But here’s a breakdown:

1. Book title. Make it big, use the font from the cover and put it at the top. The title of your book is the most important thing on the page. Try the squint test. Look at your sell sheet and squint. Can you see the title really well? Make sure the font is very readable. If not, try adding spacing between the letters o u t just a bit. If that still doesn’t help, then change the font to something similar but more readable than what is on the cover of your book.

2. Sub-title (if you have one). Not as large as the title though.

3. Next, a brief book teaser description. Two paragraphs max. Don’t tell the whole story. Keep it open ended so they want to find out what happens. Leave them with questions they just have to get answered! Get a friend or fiction loving neighbor to read over your description and see if they want to know more about your book after reading it. Do they start to ask you questions about it? That’s a good tip off for you that it is “just right”.

4. Basic data: book categories, include the number of pages, ISBN (this is super important), all formats available, pricing per format, and publication info. (Stores will use this to look it up right away.)

5. Special honors, especially national ones come next, followed by blurbs or excerpts from reviews which demonstrate your book’s quality or appeal. Use the more well known reviewers or larger book blog review snippets toward the top of your reviews section. You will bold the reviewer’s name or site name to make it stand out more than the review itself usually. This practice will make your sell sheet a much more scannable read.

6. Which book distributors can your book be ordered from, if any? Two of the largest are Ingram Book Company (http://www.ingrambook.com ) and Baker & Taylor ( http://www.btol.com ). Adonna says that the store will want to know if your book can be ordered along with the normal book order that they place to their suppliers. If not, make sure that complete ordering info is on your sell sheet: Publisher’s name, web address, phone number, and email.

In cases of nonfiction, you may wish to bullet point your platform and what you offer as a speaker and expert here. Why should you be chosen? What do you offer which no one else can? What distinguishes you?

7. CALL THEM TO ACTION: Ask them to order copies and give them the info to do it NOW!

8. Sell yourself, not just the book, with a brief bio and contact info, including 1 or 2 (max) social media accounts. Make it easy to go directly to you. You’re the one with whom they want a personal relationship. Not just an order desk.

9. If you can’t give them an ARC (they cost money, of course), then tell them how to get a peek inside right now. Tell them where they can read an excerpt in big, bold, colored letters that say FREE. This also gives them a good reason to hold on to the sell sheet. If they’re intrigued by all of the rest, they’ll look into it.

10. Always include the publisher’s logo, if you have one, and the book cover shot and your photo. Be professional. If your book is traditionally published, even by a small press, this helps it to stand out as gatekeepers have approved it.

Here are links to sample sell sheets. One covers a series, the others individual books.

http://www.iuniverse.com/uploadedFiles/iUniverse/Expert_Advice/Selling_Your_Book/Make_a_Sell_Sheet/iU_LoveWhatYouDo_Sell%20Sheet%208%2028%202009.pdf — Here’s one for a Nonfiction book from iUniverse.

http://www.captainwrite.com/SalesSheet.pdf — This series one was created by my friend, graphic designer Jeana Clark (@jeana_with_a_j on Twitter.)

http://www.beaverspondpress.com/assets/files/Johnson_Sellsheet.pdf — another nonfiction example

http://www.beaverspondpress.com/assets/files/sickbug_sellsheet.pdf — this is fiction

You can create these Sell Sheets in Microsoft Word or Microsoft Publisher fairly easily. Having a publicist create your sell sheet isn’t a necessity but it can be helpful if you still feel lost or unsure about your sell sheet. In my case, publicist Adonna Pruette looked mine over for tweaks after the fact. She also suggested this alternate layout as yet another option:

My version was created using Publisher and Adonna’s using Word. Either way, text and photo boxes and other tools, it’s fairly easy to create one.

Adonna has some final thoughts:

“Your sell sheet is an actual marketing piece. It’s not just a piece of paper that you should throw together haphazardly. After you’re gone, a store employee may see it on the counter three hours later, check out your book info, read it, and then ask the manager to order in a few. This is marketing material will be used over and over again to sell your book to the book buyers. Take your time pulling your sheet together. Make sure it looks really nice. No typos! Color printed (if color adds to your layout). Attention to detail matters here and it just may sell you quite a few books.”

Ok, once you have a Sell Sheet, what do you do with it? Well, that’s what we’ll talk about Monday in Part 2: How To Get The Most Out Of Your Book Sell Sheets. So meantime, get to work on those Sell Sheets. OMG Blogging guy just gave me homework! Why yes, yes, I did.

For what it’s worth…

Additional Resources:

Here’s what Absolute Write says about Sell Sheets: http://absolutewrite.com/novels/sell_sheets.htm. Independent Book Publisher’s Association offers another resource: http://www.ibpa-online.org/publishers/flyer.aspx. Check http://www.fedex.com/us/office/templates/sellsheets.html for templates.

Exclusive Offer:

Adonna has agreed to a special offer exclusively for the visitors here.
PR Quick Check $35 – Adonna will check your current sell sheet offering general guidelines as well as give you tips for how to revise and improve it yourself to increase it’s marketing value for bookstores.
PR Sell Sheet Review – If your sheet needs more than just a few tips, she can fix it up for you for a range from $50 – $150 depending on how much work is needed. You will be given a quote before any work is completed.
Custom Book Sell Sheet – Created for your book from scratch for $200 (which is $100 off of the normal fee for this type of detailed service). Contact her at [email protected] to get started. From DIY help to full service PR, there’s something for everyone in there. You must mention this site in your email to her to get these discounts! Enjoy!

My latest project:

Bio:

Adonna Pruette is a freelance professional publicist that works with fiction authors and publishers to create digital PR as well as traditional media outreach. Her clients range from well known writers like urban fantasy author Faith Hunter (www.faithhunter.net) to debut authors such as Lillian Archer (Twitter: @LilliansBooks). Her online home at TheAuthorPro.com (http://www.TheAuthorPro.com) is her current WIP. You can contact her at adonna AT theauthorpro.com or connect with her on Twitter @PassionMuse.

Contact details:

Website: http://www.theauthorpro.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/authorpro

Twitter: @PassionMuse https://twitter.com/#!/passionmuse

Google +: http://bit.ly/Ar7hzi

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. A frequent contributor to Adventures In SF Publishing, Grasping For The Wind and SF Signal, he can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog.‎ Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.

4 5-star & 11 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh $14.99 tpb http://bit.ly/qIJCkS.

For further help, please see https://bryanthomasschmidt.net/write-tip-how-to-get-the-most-out-of-your-book-sell-sheets/How To Get The Most Out of Your Sell Sheets.

The Returning: Thoughts On Novel Revision

Published on January 9, 2012March 9, 2020 by Bryan

Revising a novel or story is something everybody goes about in their own way. Each of us have strengths and weaknesses, for example, so what needs work varies on an individual and even per project basis. As I prepare to revise my second contracted novel for publication, the fourth novel I’ve revised ever, I wanted to reflect on what that process is like for me. Every editor works different, too, so I’m sure the routine you develop with your editor will vary from this and that’s only natural. There is no one correct way. I can’t say that enough.

First, some reflections on the debut novel’s editing process.

The Worker Prince was written August through November of 2009. I worked on it daily during that time. The chapter which took the longest to write was Chapter 13, as I had no clear idea how to wrap it up. The fastest Chapters were the Prologue and Chapter 7, as I recall. Others varied. There were a few days I actually wrote an entire chapter in a sitting. Most days, I wrote a scene or two and was happy.

The Worker Prince was my first science fiction novel and second I ever attempted to write. While the idea had been gestating for 27 years, far longer than the idea for The Last Wish, my failed attempt at a love story novel (which I revisited during NaNoWriMo 2010 and will again), still I was learning craft and it was a fly by night situation, especially since I work best as a pantser with a limited amount of outlining for the chapter ahead of where I am. I do this outlining to keep in mind upcoming scenes events and where the subplots and characters fall. this way I can lead into them with what I am writing before and make sure I get back to storylines and characters in reasonable time so the reader doesn’t lose track of them.

With The Worker Prince, I hired two independent editors to help me with it. The first had a personal crisis and dropped out after a few chapters so I hired another guy to revisit what we’d done and then continue on. My feeling was knowing the whole novel was vital to his being able to help me revise the whole not just parts. Once those editors sent notes, I made several more passes to work on things and sent the novel back out to a few betas. Then it sat while I worked on something else. This repeated. By the time Randy Streu and I set to work, it had gone through about 16 drafts. Now I got bids from three publishers and extensive notes from two of those, so I incorporated those in drafts. I also did drafts as I learned craft, so not every draft was page 1 to end. I often worked on specific things. In any case, Randy’s approach was to read and then chat on Facebook note by note and I often rewrote sections on the spot as we discussed them and sent them to him for feedback. The editing took us a month or two and then I went back for a polish pass and turned it in. ARCS went out but I polished a few minor things up until publication. This is one advantage of Print on Demand.

Now to the present project.

The Returning is book 2 in the Saga Of Davi Rhii, a sequel to The Worker Prince. It was written from February 2011 through November 2011. During that time, my marriage fell apart as my wife was hospitalized multiple times for bipolar disorder. And I had a lot of other stresses which really slowed me down and created large gaps. My normal process for a novel writing straight through remains 4-6 months. So this was unusual. Unlike the previous book, I had 3 beta readers reviewing the chapters as I went. But I did not look at their feedback until the end, except to briefly review the first chapter and make sure the system we’d set up and their notes would be useful. I went back through all of their notes at the end and incorporated them before sending the book to Randy for editing. The book then sat at the publisher while they finished other projects for a couple months. I began revising again working on descriptive prose, emotional arcs, and tight third person POV plus anything else I catch and sent a chapter at a time to Randy for editing. Which is where I am now. I am on Chapter 5 as of today out of 13. Aiming for 1 and day if possible. Randy will make notes and edits and send them back to me in Google Docs for another pass. I then make the pass and send them to Jen Ambrose who will do another editorial and copy editing pass prior to ARCS going out.

Again, I’ll probably tweak between ARCS and final production since this is Print on Demand.

Now the draft I am doing just prior to handing chapters to Randy is third draft. I found that I incorporated elements of craft which I did whole passes to develop for The Worker Prince. I think this is a natural outgrowth of writing as you internalize things you learn and just start doing them as you write. However, I still have weaknesses I am focusing on. For example, one of the criticisms we heard a couple times on book 1 was POV jumping or being too broad so we didn’t connect emotionally enough with characters. So I am working on making sure I do better with that in this final pre-edit pass. I also tend to write the story, focusing on plot, dialogue and characters first and add descriptive prose later. In this case, I did more on The Returning as I wrote that I had on anything before. But I am going back and working on adding more and revising more. Things I didn’t worry about in book 1, like clothes etc., I am trying to impart. Besides making a more emotional journey, I also have a lot of characters now and I need to make them distinguishable because I want book 2 to be an entryway for the series.

The beta readers in general said book 2 was way better than book 1, which they read after they read book 2. This way I knew if my back story exposition to introduce readers new to the series was effective. And I believe it was. You don’t get every little nuance, but you do know the basics of what happened before. Book 1 will still help tie together character relationships and conflicts, etc. But at least the back history of the saga is in book 2 and not info dump. It’s done a few lines at a time here and there. I worked really hard on that.

I also compiled a list of every negative criticism from every review and sent it to my editors. I review it every day as I edit. And I asked them to as well so we can try and eliminate those issues. Let’s make reviewers work to find issues in book 2. I don’t want to hear the same ones.

In any case, this is the approach we’re taking and I am finding that once again I am eliminating extraneous words, clarifying prose, using more descriptive and emotional internal words, etc. in my polish drafts. And the book is getting longer. Mike Resnick once said he was the only writer he knew whose first drafts were shorter than his second but I join him in that. I add the flowery stuff after the basics are down. And that’s the case here as well. My 95k novel has grown to 98k after revising 4 chapters and expect to hit 102k at least if not 105k by the end. This is true despite eliminating a lot of words. In chapter 1 I think I rewrote 50 percent of every other page and 25 percent of the rest. Later chapters have been less intense so far. But I am spending about 5 hours a day just reading and making notes to tweak then typing them into the manuscript to send Randy. It’s intense but I hope will result in a much better book. In two cases, I rewrote 50% of a chapter. One of those times, I added a scene and a half to what existed. But both were early chapters very much affected by later events in the plot and the changes now make the story coherent and add foreshadowing that ties it all together (weakness of being a pantser).

For me, The Worker Prince is so imperfect. Writers always feel that way, I suppose but the criticisms are taken to heart. Luckily it’s gotten positive reviews from everyone despite its flaws. Even a high honor of Honorable Mention on a Year’s Best. But I look at it now and it seems so much less than what I can do. So I am determined to really knock book 2 out of the park. Now, in truth, I believe as long as you make each book the best you can do at that moment, you’ve done all you can. No writer is every truly satisfied with a finished book. We’re always finding things we could have done better. But at some point the only healthy thing is to let it go and move on. And so you send your babies out into the world and make another.

Not sure how useful this will be but perhaps one day fans and readers will find it interesting (and me too) as a peak into my process. For what it’s worth…

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. He can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog.‎ Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.

4 5-star & 11 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh $14.99 tpb http://bit.ly/qIJCkS.

Write Tip: Thoughts On Choosing Point Of View

Published on January 5, 2012March 9, 2020 by Bryan1 Comment

There are many decisions one makes when writing fiction. One of the most important is the choice of POV character and whether it’s first person or third. Often, when dealing with multiple POV characters, the choice is based on who has the most to lose or gain in a particular scene. But sometimes other factors can be useful.

In The Returning, my forthcoming sequel to The Worker Prince, I found it advantageous to tell a scene from the POV of an antagonist despite the fact the focus of the scene was a subplot of the romance between the protagonist and another character. In doing so, I was able to up the tension beyond the drama of the moment. While Davi and Tela are having a fight and their relationship is jeopardized, the scene becomes more powerful because Davi’s rival, bent on killing him in revenge for past slights, is stalking them during the scene. Thus, not only is their relationship in danger, but their very lives. It wound up becoming one of my favorite scenes because of that.

A further advantage was that several subplots are advanced in the process–the Davi-Tela love story, the Bordox revenge plot, and the main story about attacks on Davi’s Vertullian people are all advanced in this scene. Having Davi’s rival, whose hatred for Davi seethes throughout the book, see Davi in a humiliating fight with his girlfriend also serves to make Davi’s situation more sympathetic. It’s bad enough he’s messing up his relationship, it’s bad enough some of that conflict is based on misunderstanding each other, but now his life’s in danger and he’s been humiliated in front of Bordox. It just adds layers of dynamics to the scene which up the pace, the tension, and the stakes all at the same time. When you add to that the fact that this encounter was coincidence–Bordox was there for other reasons and just stumbles upon them–it’s all the more dramatic.

Below is the scene from my third draft so you can see how it plays out. Remember: Bordox is working for a group trying to unseat the government and reenslave the Vertullians, ancient enemies. He’s Davi’s Academy rival and his family are the rivals of Davi’s for the leadership of the Borali Alliance. Tela is Davi’s former trainee, fiancee and a fellow Vertullian pilot. The romance that started in The Worker Prince is facing new pressures and their relationship is strained because of it.

As you read, consider the POV choice. How does it work for you? Would you have chosen differently? What are the questions you ask when deciding which POV to use in scenes? Feel free to discuss it in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts on choosing POV.

***

Bordox fought his every instinct as he stepped off the shuttle into the starport landing bay on Legon. His mission required stealth yet he stiffened at having to sneak around a place he’d once walked freely—admired and respected. Here he was, less than a year later, hiding in shadows like a wanted man. And there was only one person to blame: Davi Rhii!

He made his way through the pedestrian corridors and deliberately avoided areas frequented by pilots and maintenance crews with the hopes he’d be less likely to be recognized. The datacard in his pocket pressed against his leg with every step. He just needed to get to the flight data booths and insert it. The program it contained would do the rest, drawing out the desired intel from the systems, and he’d be on his way again.

“What’s keeping you so quiet?”

He knew that voice, stopping to listen as it came from around the corner ahead of him.

“Nothing. I’m fine.” A woman’s voice answered. One he didn’t recognize. He heard footsteps approaching and shrunk back into a shadowed doorway. “Just let me check the shuttle maintenance records for Aron and we’ll be on our way.”

“I know you, Tela. Something’s upsetting you.”

Rhii! Bordox gritted his teeth. His old enemy, the idiot who’d ruined his life, was coming toward him. What was he doing here this time of night? Last he’d heard Davi was a squadron commander. Military pilots didn’t casually walk around this side of the starport.

Davi and the woman appeared around the corner and stopped as Davi jumped into her path so they were face to face. The woman was medium height, shorter than Davi, with long brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. Her pleasing curves stiffened in anger as Davi blocked her way. Both wore Borali Alliance flight uniforms with rank insignia on their shoulders and blasters holstered at their sides. Seeing Davi in uniform just launched him into a rage. Rhii had the career Bordox deserved.

“I know you, Tela,” Davi said. “Why won’t you talk to me about it?”

“Because it won’t make any difference. We’ve tried before.”

She stepped around him and continued down the corridor as he hurried after her.

“So it’s about me then? What did I do?”

The woman, Tela, sighed. “I am not some delicate damsel in distress, Davi Rhii. I’m a fully qualified Borali officer, just like you.”

Davi looked confused. “Of course you are. What are you talking about?”

She stopped and whirled to face him, arms on her hips. Her eyes narrowed with annoyance. “You had me taken out of your squadron rotation. You got me in a lighter flight duty assignment. I keep finding myself not chosen for any risky missions—”

“There haven’t exactly been a lot of risky missions lately, and your reassignment was required by military rules. Couples can’t fly together.”

Tela growled. “A convenient excuse.”

“It’s true. I can show you the memo the commander sent asking me to sign the transfer paperwork.”

“You don’t get it! I am not going to be the girl who sits at home and pines after you. I want to do my duty like anyone else. I don’t want to be protected.”

“I’m not protecting you.”

“Yes you are!”

She whirled and started up the corridor toward Bordox again. He slipped further back into the shadows, sliding his hood up over his head as he enjoyed the show. They were so distracted with each other he doubted they’d even notice him. Bordox began to relax from his rage a bit as he watched Davi Rhii get put in his place by a woman. The only thing better would be the day he did it himself. Like instinct, his hand felt for the blaster at his hip, closing around the handle, he squeezed it. All he had to do was draw and shoot and Rhii would be dead. They would never see it coming, totally taken by surprise. His fist clenched and unclenched around the handle as he fought the urge. He’d blow his mission. But he might never get a chance like this. The feel of the cold steel of the blaster against his palm got his adrenaline pumping.

“Okay, maybe I didn’t argue.” Davi smiled as if that alone would charm her. Bordox wanted to step out and wipe that smarmy grin off his face with a fist but he swallowed, silent and hard, and stayed frozen in place. Or maybe I should blast it off. “Look, I love you, okay? Guilty! It’s my instinct to want to protect you.”

“We fought side by side in the Resistance. Why can’t we do that now?”

“Well, there’s not really any enemies at the moment for one. And we were just getting into things then. Now we’re together.”

“So I’m supposed to sit at home and worry about you while you get to relax and know I’m safe? That’s fair.”

Davi grinned and shrugged. “I’d feel good about it.”

Tela groaned and punched him hard in the arm. “Well, I don’t.” She turned and marched on down and through the door into the landing bay as Davi raced to catch her.

Bordox paused a moment, tempted to follow, but shook it off, remembering his mission and slid on down the corridor the way they’d come. There was more at stake. He had to remember that. Rhii’s day would come. Just not today. In less than two minutes, he’d stepped into the data center and selected a private booth. He slipped the datacard from his pocket and inserted it into the terminal then watched as the screen exploded in thousands of numbers moving and changing at a pace so fast his eyes could barely recognize them. After another minute, the terminal beeped and the datacard ejected. He returned it to his pocket then slipped out and headed back the way he’d come.

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. He can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog.‎ Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.

4 5-star & 11 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh $14.99 tpb http://bit.ly/qIJCkS.

Life, Death and Other Ruminations (Thoughts On Suicide & Depression)

Published on January 2, 2012March 9, 2020 by Bryan

Okay, it’s Write Tips day, I know. Mondays I always post them. But this week I don’t have one ready, and part of the reason is that I just can’t get suicide off my mind. I got news yesterday that takes me back to a dark time in my own life.

When I was in my teens, I once sat with my dad’s Army reserve pistol in my mouth, aching to pull the trigger. The barrel was cold against my lips, the gun heavy–it shot .22 caliber but weighed like a .55 (he was a military doctor and didn’t need or want real firepower). I’d loaded it, because I had done so many times using it for target practice in the fields on my Grandpa’s old farm. I don’t remember why I didn’t want to live. I just remember wanting the pain to stop–pain of rejection, not fitting in, no one understanding me, feeling so alone. I also remember picturing pieces of my head all over the wall and my mom’s face as she had to kneel down and clean it up. (She probably wouldn’t have had to do it herself but that never occured to me.) I just couldn’t do that to her, so I put the gun away and left their room and went on to live another day.

Since that time I’ve toyed with the idea a couple times when I was depressed or down, but never seriously thought of suicide again. Not to the point of acting on it or even planning it. But a high school classmate’s older brother, who was a family friend, killed himself when we were in high school. He ate a shotgun in a Kansas field, and so I can’t help, as I watch another family go through this nightmare, thinking about that day and wondering what was in my friend, Todd’s, mind all those years ago, which made him pass that point of no return.

Most people have a really hard time understanding suicide. Most people just don’t get why anyone would do it. Oh they joke about people who had nothing to live for or this and that, but when it really comes down to it, they just can’t imagine. But for those of us who have had serious depression, it’s easier to contemplate. Because being in that deep, dark place is a very dangerous place to be and it feeds on itself in its attempts to defeat you. No one’s told me the specific circumstances of my latest friend’s actual death, but he had to have been depressed. Happy people don’t take their lives. Happy people have hope. Deeply depressed people couldn’t find hope if it stared them in the face.

How is this possible?

Depression is such a deep darkness and sadness that literally it’s impossible to believe at the time that you could ever get out. God can’t even reach you there, and, if you believe in a God who’s everywhere, that’s devastating. People may know you’re down and say encouraging things but they just bounce off the surface, never sinking in. Because people always do that for those they care about but you know the truth of your own real patheticness and worthlessness. They’re just being kind but you know they can see. Your life isn’t worth a thing and you’re just a burden one everyone. Eventually you reach a point of such anger at yourself for wasting everyone’s time and emotions and energy on your worthless self that, frankly, relieving them of the burden seems the only kind thing you can do. Enter suicide.

Most people don’t want to be a burden. Especially to those we love. Even if we don’t really believe they can truly love us or understand why. We don’t want that delusion to be a burden so it’s our fault for deceiving them or sucking up all that energy and if we die, they’ll be better off. Oh it may hurt in the short run, but they’ll eventually realize we were holding them down and be so glad we’re gone. So relieved the burden is over.

Sounds nuts? Well, it’s not right thinking. But that is somewhat what it’s like to be depressed and suicidal. It’s hard to explain to someone who’s never lived it. In any case, it’s truly a tragedy when someone goes there and doesn’t find the way out.

The M*A*S*H* theme song went: “Suicide is painless. It brings on many changes. And I can take or leave it if I please.” But the song is, frankly, entirely bullshit. Suicide is not painless and you either take it or you don’t. It’s final. It’s permanent. And the changes mostly come for the pained people you leave behind. Most families live with that pain the rest of their lives. Parents may divorce after the suicide of a child. The burden is just too much to bear and they wind up taking it out on each other. Siblings may follow in the suicidal footsteps, especially if one is close to the dead sibling. Or they may engage in other dangerous behaviors from drinking to promiscuous sex, etc. Whatever the details, suicide absolutely is NOT painless. It’s devastating. It’s not a gift to a family. It’s one of the most selfish, cruel acts known to man. Killing one’s self is never the right thing for anyone but you. And only in your mind is it right for you.

It’s so sad to think about anyone taking their lives, but especially the two young people I have known. The tragedy of a life cut short. A lost hope for victim and all who loved them. A lost future. A waste.

So my thoughts are on suicide and life and death and depression today. Don’t worry. I’m not suicidal. I’m just grieving the broken world in which such destruction of lives happens way too often to way too many good people.

If you have loved ones, give them a hug today. Tell them you love them. Tell them how much you look forward to every day with them and to the future, whatever comes, with them in it. Then think about my friends and their families and say a prayer. Both for comfort for them and for the blessings you have. None of us really deserve them. Whether you believe they’re from God or in God or not. Take the time to do this. Because life is precious and every moment counts.

For what it’s worth…

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. He can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog.‎

4 5-star & 11 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh $14.99 tpb http://bit.ly/qIJCkS.

Hello 2012! Good Riddance 2011! (Predictions & Reflections)

Published on January 1, 2012March 9, 2020 by Bryan3 Comments

Well, 2011 is gone and I am as glad as anyone it will never return. I thought 2010 was a bad year but 2011 was so much worse. In may 2010, I lost my full time job. By the end of the year, my part time one also went away due to my out of state job search and their wanting continuity. Unemployment problems began. We made it through 2010 without a relapse of Bianca’s health issues, but in February, 2011, they came back with a vengeance, resulting in her spending most of February through May in various hospitals against her will and causing a great deal of financial and emotional stress for me. While I did sign my book contract at the end of 2010 and see my debut novel published to good reviews and even a B&N Book Clubs Honorable Mention on Years Best SF releases, overall, 2011 was pretty unhappy. I did complete a sequel to The Worker Prince and start a new heroic fantasy novel. I outlined some other ideas and I did see stories published. I made my first paid sale to Tales Of The Talisman early on but it won’t appear until Summer 2012. Residential Aliens finally bought my long standing Worker Prince prequel story, “Rivalry On A Sky Course” and published it a few days before the novel’s release. I also sold stories to the anthologies Of Fur and Fire and Wandering Weeds and got the editing assignment and completed Space Battles, which will feature yet another Worker Prince universe story. Both Wandering Weeds and Space Battles should appear in 2012 along with The Returning, book 2 in the Saga Of Davi Rhii and hopefully other things which have yet to materialize.

SFFWRTCHT became a major thing in 2011. I started it in Fall 2010 and it grew into a majorly respected interview series with a column, guest posts and much more. I got bigger name guests and publishers partnered with me to get me arcs of their books. I also started columns on the blog as well and am looking into a podcast.

My first book tour was a success and a lot of fun in 2011 and I plan another one for mid-2012 to promote both The Returning and Space Battles. I did my first podcast interviews, author interviews and guest posts all as part of this tour. Additionally, I attended my first Cons as a panelist and author guest. And moderated my first panels. I now do them a lot more often and am enjoying the opportunity to share my knowledge, vision and ideas with a larger audience and interact with them. I really feel like I got legitimized as a member of the professional SFF community this year and that’s a really good feeling. I also got my first reviews. Most were positive, thankfully. And I’ve learned as much as I can, applying it as we edit The Returning for its 2012 release.

As for 2012, after what I’ve been through, I’m hesitant to make too many prediction, and, frankly, not very optimistic. But based on the few positives from 2011, I can make a few guesses. I imagine SFFWRTCHT will continue to grow. If it’s approved, my membership in SFWA will commence as an affiliate member. I will have three more books published, two anthologies and one novel with my material. North Star Serial will finally come to ebook and I’ll be writing more episodes at some point. I also hope to make my first traditional publishing deal and get an agent. I really feel like those are the next steps in my career but we’ll see.

I have quite a few Con appearances and signings scheduled for 2012. My first signing was a success despite low attendance. I didn’t promote it well due to a date change and just not being on the ball. But we sold well above the statistical average number of books for a signing which I consider a huge success. I will be an Author Guest at Convergence and ConQuest. With Convergence having an average attendance of 5k, that’s a big deal and it will coincide with my having Space Battles and The Returning released, giving me five books with my work to sell. I also plan to attend ChiCon WorldCon and several more area cons and will aim for World Fantasy and GenCon as well.

I have to write book 3 in the Saga Of Davi Rhii, finish The Relic Of Aken, my heroic fantasy, and do draft two of Sandman, as well as write those North Star stories. I have two steampunk novel ideas and an urban fantasy I would like to get to. And I’d like to get back to short stories outside North Star despite my failure this year to do much with them. I really feel I am terrible with that area of craft but since novels are doing so well for me am focusing my attention there for now. The sole exception being North Star because the present run is almost exhausted and the zine wants more episodes to complete the cycle.

In any case, I also hope 2012 brings financial stability again, either through a book contract or a steady job or both. This living on the edge has been very devastating, causing me to have serious depression for the first time, gain a lot of weight, and have a lot of health issues. And getting back on a even keel would really change how I produce and enjoy life in 2012. With Congress playing games on unemployment extensions, my current account runs out in February and it’s uncertain how I’ll get by. My parents have strained their resources helping me and I don’t know how to burden them any further. Let’s hope 2012 is not my return to flipping burgers. That doesn’t seem like a good use of my Masters.

Anyway, there’s my reflections and predictions. I tried not to be too negative. Most of you have already seen my hard life posts so why rehash it. After all, isn’t the goal to predict a happier future?

In any case, I hope 2012 brings better times for all of us.

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. He can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog.‎

4 5-star & 11 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh $14.99 tpb http://bit.ly/qIJCkS.