Links of the Week, Vol. 2, Issue 6

http://www.designspongeonline.com/2011/02/biz-ladies-photo-usage.html — important information on rights and using photos online. Important for every blogger and website owner.


http://talktoyouniverse.blogspot.com/2011/02/expansion-of-global-information-wars.html — My extremely smart and talented friend Juliette Wade offers her perspective on controversy over approaches to good v. evil in fantasy


http://www.selfpublishingreview.com/blog/2010/10/12/ebook-opportunities/ — a successful self-published author rates the various self-pub options and his experiences with them.


http://tinyurl.com/5u2whmo — agent Jennifer Laughran on how agents decide where to submit clients’ manuscripts.


http://www.alanrinzler.com/blog/2011/02/19/book-bloggers-can-help-sell-your-book-tips-for-authors/ — The importance of Book Bloggers in selling your books. Important strategy for authors.


http://networkedblogs.com/eFg9y — My friend Moses Siregar, a talented writer, explains how to network well and grow from it by hanging out with successful writers, and, coincidentally, articulates the purpose for which I started #sffwrtcht on Twitter.


Article on Indiana Governor who turned an inherited $600 million deficit into a $370 million surplus the next year http://on.wsj.com/eYLGrE

I Celebrate Our Differences and Commonalities In Calling You Friend

Today I got a petition in the mail which sparked something in me because it’s about an issue I’m passionate about: abortion. I’m not going to go into details here, because that’s not what this post is about. Instead, I want to talk about how much I appreciate friends who don’t share my view on everything. How’d I make that segway? Read on.

First, I posted my statement supporting the idea of the petition and a guy I’ve had many friendly chats with on Twitter immediately starts attacking me as ignorant, etc. He attacked like a shark and kept circling back for me. Wouldn’t stop, until finally I just blocked him and told him I didn’t appreciate his lack of respect for my right to free speech and freedom of belief. And this guy’s a government lawyer. Nice attitude he has, huh?

I don’t agree with Atheism, yet I have many Atheist friends. I don’t agree with Global Warming theory, many friends do. I don’t like or support Obama. Many friends do. I still have meaningful and profitable conversations with those friends. I still feel a strong sense of caring and respect for them, and I would miss them if they weren’t in my life.

I honestly don’t get the way so many today refuse to be friends with people who don’t agree with them. Seriously, how boring do you want life to be? Do you really prefer to live safely locked inside your comfortable box where no one ever challenges you to think differently or offers an alternate perspective? As a creative person, I’d starve in an environment like that. As a human being, I’d be quite shallow if I lived like that. You will be too, I promise.

When I went away to college, I encountered things I’d never seen before. Had my first openly gay friend. Met my first Jewish friend. Saw public gay bars. Witnessed many things my small Kansas city didn’t reveal to me. I am a better person for those encounters, whether I agree with everything I saw or not. Agreement is not the point. Awareness is.

If I had never spent New Year’s Day 2004 in an African village right out of National Geographic, topless ladies and all, talking to those people about life in their village, visiting their homes, seeing their hospitality, glimpsing their world, I would not be who I am today. And frankly, I like who I am today, even if you don’t. I don’t claim to know what it’s like to be them. I don’t claim to fully understand them. What I do claim is that I have seen a bit of the world through their eyes and it has made me a better man–better able to imagine how the world can look differently through different eyes; better able to appreciate what I have and how I value it; better able to appreciate that I was a man of much narrower vision before that encounter.

I am a man of passion. I’m not afraid to say what I believe and defend it. I try and do it with respect but even I get pissed sometimes and go off. It’s the liability of an artist, say. But I always try to be respectful of others in countering their opinions or when discussing my own, and I never feel the need to call them ignorant, a bad citizen, or other names. I may think those things sometimes, but truly, I don’t know them inside and out. I don’t know every nook and cranny of their thoughts and experience. How can I truly determine who they are?  What I do know is that they are not like me, and I know they have a right to be who they are.

It’s hard to explain your opinions sometimes. It’s hard to talk about issue people feel passion about and take personally. But this world and our country (US) are worse for the fact we are failing to even try so often these days. The fact we’d rather disown you as a friend and person than try and understand you better and find a way to live with it. And I think that’s really sad, don’t you? I think it’s a real loss.

I’m not willing to live my life that way, as hard as it is sometimes. I value my friends who are gay or nonChristian or whatever as much as those who are like me, straight and Christian. (These traits are just examples. I could offer many more but won’t in the interest of brevity). My point is: I love them no more or less for their views and I refuse to ask them to apologize for theirs or apologize to them for mine. I will attempt to be sensitive to their feelings. I will attempt to present things fairly and in as non-volatile a way as I can. That’s part of respecting and loving other people and the desire for it in return. But I won’t de-friend them. And I hope they don’t de-friend me. (Unless they drive me to it by ignorant behavior like the guy above). Because I need those alternative viewpoints to make me broader, smarter, and more well informed. I need those viewpoints to make me empathetic, understanding, and keep me caring. If I know them and care about them, then discover we differ violently on some issue, I know then I can love someone who’s not like me. Because my love doesn’t stop the minute I discover our differences. And knowing I love people I disagree with helps me be the better person I want to be.

For what it’s worth…

Call For Beta Readers: The Returning

After learning from other novelists about how they do beta reading, I’ve decided to try and recruit beta readers to read as I write. The novel in question is the sequel to my forthcoming first novel, “The Worker Prince.” This book, titled “The Returning” is a space opera epic with a touch of thriller, murder mystery and political intrigue.

The basic premise is that after the workers (Vertullians) achieve citizenship and freedom from years of slavery, someone is killing them off, one at a time and stirring up questions amongst both workers and their former enemies, the Borali Alliance about whether they can all live together in peace. Our hero, Davi Rhii, former Borali prince, now a Captain in the Borali military, is sent to investigate the murders and report back to the Council of Lords. In the meantime, he faces a personal challenge in his developing relationship with Tela as their parents pressure them to marry and Tela resists his attempts to keep her safe. Aron, the first ex-worker to serve on the Council of Lords, has proposed making the worker religious holiday, The Returning, an official Alliance holiday to encourage a sense of unity, but now that plan is stirring up controversy. Meanwhile, Davi’s exhiled Uncle Xalivar is content on regaining his power as High Lord Councilor of the Borali Alliance.

Beta readers will recieve a chapter at a time. I am using the system developed by AJ Hartley at www.magicalwords.net. Readers will read the chapter on either Word file or paper and mark passages using the following system:

A=Awesome. Something about this just blew me away. Excellent.
B=Bored now.
C=Confused. He said what? The people of Anth believed in what? He can get out of the rabbit burrow because…? Huh?
D=Don’t care. Ten pages on minor character’s lineage? So what? Yeah, I’m sure it’s really clever and all but… I’ve got QVC to watch.
You only need to mark the passages which evoke one of the four responses listed. Total honesty is requested. Don’t worry about offending me. It’s first draft–a lot of work will be needed before it ever sees a publisher’s desk. And detailed explanations won’t be demanded, although they can be helpful when offered. This allows me to get a sense of how you respond to the manuscript. I prefer people who have not read book 1 because I need a sense of how well I am trickling out the back story. Is it too much, too little?
I am writing about a chapter a week (22 pages on average). I would hope you could read each chapter within 2-3 weeks and get back to me. I can’t pay you except to say I will acknowledge you in the book when it’s published and I can offer you a free copy. 
If anyone’s willing, please get in touch. My beta readers on the first book said it captured the feel of “Star Wars: A New Hope” and really liked it. I hope you’ll enjoy this as well. You’ll be helping me write a better book and I’ll also throw in a free e-copy of book 1 when you’re done if you want.
Thanks for taking time to consider it and for your support of my work and this blog!

Review: Predators I Have Known by Alan Dean Foster

A compelling read filled with sparkling prose about the author’s adventures outside his culture and comfort zone encountering predators around the world and even in his own yard. Rich in detail with a good sense of self-deprecation mixed with genuine cultural and animal insight, Foster herein challenges all of us to live a little more bravely than we might so that we can write better, understand better, and experience the world better. Truly inspiring. I couldn’t put it down.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to stare a lion in the face on the serenghetti or swim with sharks in the ocean? Author Alan Dean Foster answers those questions and more in the riveting “Predators I Have Known,” coming February 22nd from Open Road Media.

Foster, a well known and respected author of science fiction and fantasy, New York Times bestselling author of 110 books,  has the same lust for adventure he satisfies in readers with his many books and he takes us with him on many adventures around the world as he satiates it with daring encounters many of us might never risk. From the Amazon River in South America to the plains of Africa to the  Arizona desert, Foster’s tales are told with vivid description, honest self-deprecation, and a great sense of humor using powerful prose. He captures his emotions and thoughts as he faces uncertain dangers yet feels compelled to stand his ground and not run. The predators are everything from giant ants to giant otters, usual suspects like snakes and spiders to  big cats and elephants and other surprises. Some are well known, others less so. All are intriguing.

For readers without the budget, time or guts to travel the world, Foster gives you a bird’s eye view of Australia, the Amazon jungle, the Pantanal, African desert and more.  Having visited some of the places he does myself, I can attest to the accuracy of his descriptions and realism of his emotions. I only wish I could describe them so well. Sure to invoke the imagination, the book will make you laugh with delight, squirm with discomfort, and wait with baited breath to see if he survives. It’s a wonderful change of pace from a beloved writer and one I highly recommend. I’m sure I will read it again and again, especially when my own reality prevents satisfying my own lust for adventure.

The only weakness for me was that I wanted more, and I especially wish there were some of Foster’s pictures of the various encounters. His prose is vivid enough one can live without them, but having them would have just made the book all the more powerful.

Available as an ebook, “Predators I Have Known” can be ordered for $26.99 at http://www.openroadmedia.com/books/predators-i-have-known.aspx#bookDetail with discounts available through many online booksellers.

Guest Post From Laura Kreitzer: Human Trafficking & Phantom Universe

Because she’s awesome, and because she’s my good friend, I have invited Laura Kreitzer to be my first guest blogger here. Please read this very important post on the crime of human trafficking
— Bryan
Hello Literary-Folk!
My name is Laura Kreitzer, and I’m the author of the Timeless Series and the Summer Chronicles. This week I would like to alert everyone on a colossal crisis that’s gone unnoticed in the world: human trafficking. That’s why I’ve asked hundreds of blogs to be involved with spreading the word on this issue that’s become close to my heart.

As an author, and someone whose life is put in the spotlight, I keep most people at a distance. Only a handful of my friends know the whole me and the events from my past. But this week I’d like to share with you a part of myself that the outside world doesn’t see (and a part of me I don’t like to share). I was emotionally abused for five years by someone I thought loved me, my mind beaten into submission. Though the turmoil I went through doesn’t penetrate as deep as someone forced into slavery on the worldwide market for human trafficking, I can sadly relate in some ways: imprisoned, my life dictated down to what I wore, ate, where I went, whom I spoke to, where I worked, when I slept, bending to his every whim. He did not sway, even when I cried through some of the more traumatic things he had me do. I was a slave in my own home. In my desperation for freedom, I held out a gun and asked him to just end my suffering. I was desperate. I can’t even imagine how many women (and men) in the world are in a similar situation. What’s even worse, I had it mild compared to the children that are sold for labor or sex. Surprisingly, the good ol’ U.S.A. is reported to be the host to two million slaves. Did you know this? Because I certainly did not; not until I was preparing to write my newest novel: Phantom Universe. The main character, Summer Waverly, was stolen as a child and sold as a slave to the captain of a modern-day pirate ship. From a loved child who only knew “time-out” as punishment, to being whipped into silence was something I knew nothing about. So I researched deeply into human trafficking and the psychological effects of torture of various types that one would endure in these circumstances. I felt shaken at my findings and knew I had to tell Summer’s story. (Read a sneak peek here.)

A storm began to brew in my mind; transforming, morphing, twisting, and expanding into this massive, black cloud. I had to bring this tragic atrocity to the forefront. My own emotional experiences, mixed with the research I did on human trafficking, made me feel an intense connection with Summer, and to all women who’ve been through this kind of brutality. The cloud ruptured and rained all over my computer one day. It took one month to write Phantom Universe, the first in the Summer Chronicles. I was so consumed by the story that I wrote nearly nonstop, only breaking for necessary tasks like eating, showering, and occasionally—very occasionally—sleeping.

Though the book I’ve written would be classified as Science Fiction, or as I’d like to call it, Dystopian, the emotions and psychological aspects are not Science Fiction—they’re real. Reviewers have said many amazing things about Summer, this character who is so real in my mind and who I cried along with as the words poured from my soul onto my screen.

“I admired Summer’s strength and ability to adapt,” says CiCi’s Theories. “I felt tied to her emotions,” Jennifer Murgia, author or Angel Star admits. And Tahlia Newland, author of Lethal Inheritance, remarks, “Summer is strong and smart in mind [. . .]”

Through her overwhelmingly horrendous past, Summer goes on more than just a physical journey in Phantom Universe, she goes on a psychological one as well; growing beyond her mute state to persevere and survive in a new world beyond the whip she’s so frightened of.

Now that the release date is here, I’m excited and terrified to share this story with everyone. I’m emotionally tied in every way to the words I’ve written, because they’re more than words. More than just a story on a page. Beyond the fictional aspects, there’s a real issue that needs to be addressed: human trafficking must be stopped. We shouldn’t sit idly by while this continues to plague us. Our world’s children—our nation’s children—are being affected. It’s time we take action!

Earlier this month Phantom Universe hit Barnes and Noble’s top 100 Best Selling list. I’ve decided to donate 10% of my sales from Phantom Universe, until the end of February, to the DNA Foundation.

“DNA hopes to help abolish modern day slavery, deter perpetrators, and free the many innocent and exploited victims. We are committed to forcing sex slavery out of the shadows and into the spotlight.
Freedom is a basic human right and slavery is one of the greatest threats to that freedom. No one has the right to enslave another person.”
—From DNA Foundation’s Website

I ask that you spread the word to everyone you know. Look around on the DNA Foundation website and find a way to get involved in ending human trafficking. Take action today. Everyone has a voice—you have a voice. Will you have the courage to use it?
——————–
Phantom Universe is an amazing read and the character of Summer is very captivating. I hope you will help us with our mission by spreading the word and purchasing Phantom Universe during the month of February.

Review: Shades Of Milk and Honey by Mary Robinette Kowal

First, a couple of disclaimers might be appropriate: I like Mary Robinette Kowal. She’s a nice person, the kind who is easy to converse with and who doesn’t take herself too seriously. Vice President of the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, she penned one of my favorite short stories of the past few years, “Clockwork Chickadee,” a story which delights me each time I read it and is even more delightful hearing her read it out loud. She’s very giving of her time to help up and coming writers from teaching them how to do readings to answering basic questions. And she spends a lot of time with puppets. Who can help but like someone who spends her time entertaining and delighting children?

Second disclaimer: other than perhaps a passage or two in English literature classes, I have never read a Jane Austen book, and I think I have only seen one movie based on her work. Despite my weakness for romantic comedies and enjoyment of Nicholas Sparks, I just never felt drawn to Victorian romances. But when Kowal agreed to be with us on Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chat on Twitter, I had to read “Shades of Milk and Honey,” out of curiosity and an obligation to make the discussion as fruitful for everyone as possible.
Am I glad I did.
The prose captures the feel of Victorian writing beautifully, yet remains simple and accessible for readers who might not be familiar with it. Her characters are well drawn and interesting, and although before I read it I’d have thought I wouldn’t be drawn in by the personal politics of a female spinster and her family and neighbors, I literally couldn’t put this one down.
A delight from start to finish, “Shades of Milk & Honey” has been aptly described as Jane Austen with magic, but the magic, the manipulation of light through a technique called glamouring, fits in naturally with the story. Although it flows through and undergirds much of the narrative, Kowal maintains a sense of mystery about it by not telling us too much about how it works and instead focusing more attention on how it is used and how it affects the characters themselves.
The story of Jane Ellsworth, twenty-eight, a gifted glamourist in her own right, who dreams of love and happiness as she watches her much younger sister, Melody, and neighbors Beth Dunkirk and Livie FitzCameron wooed by men. When a few men take notice of her for various reasons, hope rises in her, but she always finds the possibilities threatened by others. Jane is too kind and mannered to wallop in her own jealousy and disappointment, however, and continues fighting her baser urges by befriending and caring for her sister Melody and neighbor Beth Dunkirk, whose brother Edmund seems Jane’s most likely suitor.
Then the mysterious galmourist, Mr. Vincent, hired by Lady FitzCameron, the Viscountess, to create a glamour for her dining hall, becomes an intriguing challenge. Jane compares her own skills at glamour to his, while examining his artistry and striving to improve her own. When his response seems to be resentment at her questions and attention, she begins to feel resentment of her own. Especially after he implies her art shows talent without any heart behind it.
There were times I felt Kowal’s foreshadowing made later developments predictable, but in the end, I discovered her plotting to be far more clever than I’d imagined. The ending certainly was different than I had expected in several respects, and the book maintains a sense of suspense and motion which kept me riveted and wanting to know what would happen next. In spite of my lack of commonality with these characters, they captured my heart—I cared about them and what happened to them far more than I’d imagined I would.
For a book which I’d not have chosen on its own based on what I knew of it and my own literary preferences to have so held my interest and charmed me, I feel confident in saying it will likely surprise and charm others as well. Kowal is a smart writer, whose gift for words and understanding of people are readily evident on every page. While one can find small deficiencies with which to quibble in her first novel (as in any other), the book shows great promise and is a great diversion. If anything it’s greatest weakness is its lightness. There is no heavy moral here. And the story does not create a great set of questions one is left to ponder for months after. Instead, the questions and story are light yet still manage to rise beyond mere entertainment.
Truly a worthwhile read from a worthwhile talent. I look greatly forward to what the future will bring from her.

Links of the Week, Vol. 2, Issue 6

http://bit.ly/hL9b59 — Jon Sprunk writes on TOR.com about the problems with basing your speculative fiction on Role Playing Games.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/the-lay-scientist/2011/feb/13/3 — Science commentator asks if political bias is a problem in science. I think it is but either way, thought provoking.

http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/columns-and-blogs/cory-doctorow/article/46105-with-a-little-help-the-early-returns.html — Cory Doctorow’s Publisher’s Weekly column on the release of his short story collection via Lulu. Interesting stuff re: publishing.

http://www.enter.net/~torve/critics/Dream/dream1.html — Fascinating essay on “The Death of Science Fiction

http://io9.com/#!5762349/stardust-probe-sifts-through-the-remains-of-a-collision-between-comet-and-machine
— Comet and Machine collide and provide valuable data on the makeup of a comet

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw_GnjE-des — Mr. Rogers learns to break dance. A funny reminder of a great show.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/17/a-doctor-at-the-funeral — Passionate, moving article of a doctor’s reaction to attending the funeral of one of her cancer patients.

I am a Victim of TwitHate and CyberBullying

All I did was ask Kevin J. Anderson, bestselling author, a man I admire, how he records his books. He is known for writing into a tape recorder, you see, and I was curious about his tools.

The next thing I know I was being systematically harrassed by this Mc(idiots)Dune group of KJA haters(morons and jackasses–although Donkeys are smarter and have more class). The name list grows daily but so far they are: Serkanner RealDune DuneSandChigger SKKahl DunesDreamer Loteqs and IdunnAsynja. I use no “at” because I don’t want more attention from them than I already have.

I have blocked them in Twitter and on TweetDeck. I have reported them to Twitter. They continue reading my old tweets and saying flattering things. You know, suggestions like reasons why they think I have been jobless for 9 months. Insults on my writing, which they have never read, etc. Classy group of individuals.

In any case, Kevin will be on chat next month, and if you’re a regular, or even my friend, you might want to block these people. We will ignore them, and we will continue to chat in spite of them. But I won’t see their comments so you might not want to either, and please don’t respond.  I’ll post update instructions and list pre-chat.

Meanwhile, if you’re friends with any of them, I suggest you rethink it. This kind of behavior does not represent free speech. It represents bullying. It represents being an ass. Attacking people who have never contacted you is not sensible behavior. It is not respectable or intelligent. In fact, I had never even mentioned Dune, the story they claim to own the right to approve or disapprove any related books for.

In any case, people acting like this makes me sick. Please join with me in praying hate can end. It doesn’t belong in a civilized society.

Links of the Week, Vol. 2, Issue 5

http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/20-awesomely-untranslatable-words-from-around-the-world/ — 20 Awesomely Untranslatable Words From Around The World

http://bit.ly/dvXW35 — 20 Obsolete English Words Which Should Make a Comeback (this one comes courtesy of Mary Robinette Kowal and is quite amusing)

http://lilt.ilstu.edu/golson/punctuation/ — brilliantly helpful, simplified post on how to correctly use key punctuation in English. Very useful for writers.

http://www.forwriters.com/taxes.html –Taxes For Writers, a historical and contemporary view

http://www.sparkfun.com/marcomm/Heaterizer-Instructions-01.jpg — a rarity, a product manual that’s fun, even entertaining, to read. The Heaterizer.

http://www.mbranesf.com/2011/02/two-spaces-controversy-and-other-notes.html – Important commentary on manuscript formatting and the whole “double space/full stop” controversy from MBraneSF. I heartily agree with them.

http://community.livejournal.com/sfwa/210297.html — 10 great resources for writing hard space-based SF from my friend Mike Brotherton

Tribute to my Beloved Cat: Lucy, 18.5 years old, died Feb. 2010

A tribute to my dear 18.5 year old first child who died a year ago in my arms.


I’ll always remember the day she came home to live with me – so small she could sit inside my open hand, so cute I just wanted to cuddle and never let go. From day one, she was a talker, always interacting with me using her various Meows and other sounds. I loved the uniqueness of her tortoise-shell fur, the sincerity in her brown eyes, the way she followed me around like a puppy would.

From that day on, we were inseparable. Wherever I was, she wanted to be. She’d sit on the edge of the bathtub while I bathed or showered. That lasted until she got hit by water one day and decided she didn’t like water and began staying away. One day, while I showered, the answering machine went off. She stood in the hallway meowing as she looked back and forth between the machine and me, as if to ask: “How can daddy’s voice be there, when he’s over here?” It was amazing how human she could seem sometimes.

She slept beside me from the beginning. One day, early on, I woke up to muffled meows and realized I’d rolled over on her. That was the first of a serious of guilty accidents for me, when I first saw that look she’d give me as she shook her legs one at a time. It said: “I can’t believe you did that! Grow up!” Lucy always seemed more adult than I ever felt.

That was her name – Lucy, after the Peanuts’ character because she was so stubborn. I carried her around on my shoulder, as I drove, bought groceries, etc. She was so cute that we both got lots of attention, and she was fun to play with and have around.

For many years, while I was single and working long hours, Lucy was my closest companion. She greeted me with purring as she rubbed against my leg when she came home. She’d hop into my lap and curl up or meow for me to pet her. She scolded me when I left her alone too long – avoiding eye contact and keeping her distance to let me know she wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior from me again.
In all honesty, she changed my life forever. My first sole pet after moving out of my parents’ house, Lucy was like my child. I had to feed her, change her litter box, give her attention, etc. In some ways, I spoiled her too much. She was never that comfortable around other people. It had just been the two of us so often, she’d never gotten used to others being around. My sneaking up and surprising her made her skittish.

I taught her tricks, too – things people assured me cats could never learn. I taught her to kiss my finger when I held it in front of her face. She learned to shake and hold my hand, to give me five, and to put both hands in mine and “dance with daddy.” Sometimes, she liked the dancing so much, she would put her hands back after I let go and bite me if I didn’t let her do it again. I taught her to speak and to jump, delighting in her intelligence, her personality, her spirit.

Lucy taught me a lot, too. She taught me about friendship and how to learn to live with another despite their imperfections and irritating habits (mostly mine, not hers). She taught me about parenting, serving as my first experimental child – both playful and stern as the moment required. She taught me about forgiveness. There were the times I stepped on her tail or smashed her foot. The time I awoke from a dream to find myself swinging her by her feet (I’ve never felt so guilty in all my life). There were times I left her for international trips or forgot to fill her water or waited too long to change her litter. Each time she came back to curl up next to me and purr, kissing my finger to let me know she’d forgiven me, and life could go on as it had always been.

What she taught me above all was unconditional love. I had learned about unconditional love in church – the love of God for us, the love of a Savior – but I’d never truly seen it manifest until Lucy came along. She always wanted to be with me, wherever I was, whatever I was doing. She didn’t always demand my attention, content to lie nearby where she could see me, or just hover on the periphery. When she needed attention or food or something else, she let me know, but most of the time it was enough to just be near me. Until I got married, I’d never known another person I felt that way about. No matter how ugly I was when I woke up, how stinky I was until I showed, no matter how unfashionable my clothes, or how scruffy my hair, she loved me. I was her “daddy,” and none of it mattered as long as we could be near each other. Who couldn’t appreciate a love like that? If you’re like me, you probably wish there were more of it.

Eighteen years later, as I ponder our life together, facing the end, it’s hard to believe that soon I may have to live without her. At forty years old, I’ve known her almost half my life. We’ve been together through eight moves, across four states, and too many apartments and houses to name. She’s hung with me through job changes, frustration, depression – even times when we were broke and didn’t know where the next meal might come from. She’s bore the indignity of a new dog joining the family, of being displaced from her usual position on the bed by my wife, and all sorts of other challenges.

Above all else, she’s loved me and adored me, and I have loved and adored her. Now, as her kidneys fail, her hearing decreases, and her walk becomes more strained, she loves me still, and I love her, and somehow I know we always will.