Ottawa, KS, January 31, 2012–Author Bryan Thomas Schmidt today announced there would be no revealing of his or other nipples at his book signing at Hastings Books in Lawrence, Kansas this coming Saturday or any other public appearances on his agenda.
“I just wanted to join Madonna right now in refuting any accusations of public nudity,” Schmidt said. “Just as with Madonna’s Super Bowl Halftime Show, absolutely no nipple sightings will occur either now or in the future at my author events and I believe that’s a policy we’ll plan to continue well into the future.”
MAPN (Mothers Against Public Nipples) put out this statement upon hearing the news: “We are relieved to know that family values still means something in this day and age. Exposure to nipples is something every parent should be able to mediate for their children in the comfort of their own timing. Respect for parents’ rights is too often absent in this day and age.”
From Bryan’s publisher: Diminished Media Group co-Director Randy Streu says, “We’re committed to our values as a family business and a family-friendly market, and while male nipples don’t come with the controversy of their female counterparts, we believe it’s best avoided altogether.”
“I might add that I call on authors of all genres to join me in this important movement,” Schmidt said, “especially in the face of recent revealing photos posted by authors like Jim C. Hines at their websites. There are just some things our readers don’t need to know about us.”
Mothers everywhere, surveyed by the reporter, express great relief. Some even expressed renewed hope and faith in a Higher Being.
For press and media inquiries including interviews and guest blogging requests, you can contact Bryan at: bryan at bryanthomasschmidt.net.
Links to recent interviews can be found here. Information on Bryan and his books can be found at his author website www.bryanthomasschmidt.net. Bryan’s books can be purchased online at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com and other retailers.