Bryan | - Part 35

2011- Reasons To Be Thankful

Published on November 24, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan

I’m struggling to be thankful this year. I really have to admit it. Okay, let me get through the hard stuff first because it makes the happy ending all the more powerful, and yes, please read it all. I promise there’s a happy ending. (If you know my writing, you know I prefer happy endings).

If any of you have followed my posts and the drama of my life since October 2009 , you’re well aware that I have had a lot of drama, trauma, sadness and difficulty. In October 2009 my first was first diagnosed and hospitalized against her will with bipolar disorder. She ended up in the hospital twice that time and then four more times in 2011 when she relapsed in March, pretty much meaning hospitalization from March through late May, at which time she was still not fully recovered but insisted on a divorce, got one, and went back to Brasil.

Then there’s the job front. My sucky company had long been struggling with what to do with me. I was too good at my job, actually. Sounds cocky but in truth, their evaluation of every task I was hired for was excellent work until the day I was fired. But instead of talking about it with me a building on my strengths, they kept shoving me off on various departments to see what would stick, creating frustration for me and for some coworkers. Then in May 2010, they laid me off. And they couldn’t give me a good reason for it either. In fact, to assuage their guilt, they gave me three month’s severence but also forced me to sign an agreement promising not to sue them for anything. When I later discovered that the most likely cause for this firing was health care costs associated with my wife, I deeply regretted signing that agreement. But hey, at the time, the money seemed more important.

Then there’s the ministry job which I did well and succeeded at despite a pastor’s attempts to derail me with belittling criticism. Some people just cannot work well with others, even in ministry. It was a great matter of pride for me that my relationship with my team was so solid and our times together so fun for the 18 months I was there, despite everything happening with the pastor. But in October 2010, I could no longer go on and, since he’d found someone to step in, I left.

Then there’s unemployment which got cancelled several times. Once due to that pastor’s misstatements saying I quit, which did not happen. I was replaced before I could. And several more because my sucky company filed an incorrect tax form saying I worked in Missouri when I didn’t. So Texas kept billing me for overpayment and saying Missouri should pay me. We spent four months at the end of 2010 with no income. What a joyous Christmas that was.

There’s also a few so-called friends who abandoned me during my difficulties. Was I angry and bitter sometimes? Read the previous paragraphs again and ask why that’s surprising? But they didn’t care enough to stand beside me and walk through it, proving both their lack of character and the lack of genuineness in our so-called friendship.

Okay, so far you’re wondering where the thankful part comes in, right? How can anyone be thankful after all this?

Well, I am thankful because my lifelong dream of being a published novelist finally happened October 4, 2011 with the release of my debut science fiction novel The Worker Prince. So far reviews have been positive overall and the sales steady. We’re not a bestseller, but it’s a small press release. And I hope it will continue to grow. (Makes great Christmas gifts, hint, hint)

I’m also thankful that there will be a second book. I turned in the sequel, The Returning, in early November to my publisher. And editing will commence soon for a Summer 2012 release.

I’m thankful for my first magazine sale to Tales Of The Talisman of La Migra, one of my first and favorite SF short stories. Coming Summer 2012.

I’m thankful for my first anthology sales to Of Fur and Fire which is out as of this past summer and Wicked Weeds which is pending release.

I’m thankful for my first official anthology editing gig from Flying Pen Press, Space Battles, and the willingness of writers like Mike Resnick to contribute to it. Coming April 2012.

I’m thankful for a chance to move and start over in Kansas which has turned out to be more of a blessing than I ever could have imagined.

I’m thankful for the growth in this blog which has gone from a few hundred two hits over summer 2011 to over 2k a month regularly.

I’m thankful for tons of industry support and friendship to not only keep SFFWRTCHT going but help me get national publicity for my novel’s release when I had little or no budget.

I’m thankful for being on my first Con panels this year. For Rainforest Writer’s Village wonderful scholarship and the chance to write beside the likes of Mary Robinette Kowal, Kat Richardson, Jennifer Brozek and so many more. And also a scholarship to the James Gunn Online Writing Workshop which has challenged me as a writing experience but nonetheless was good for me and a privilege to be a part of.

I’m thankful for so many Twitter friendships turning into real, solid friendships. So many that I can’t name you all but I think you know who you are.

I’m thankful for those who did stick it out and support and encourage me despite my bitterness and anger. Those who understood how hard it was to just get up everyday and keep breathing and trying so many days and stood by me to lend me the strength I needed to press on. And some even showed up to help me move on a very hot desert day at the end of August. THANK YOU!

I’m thankful for knowing 2012 is going to be better. Not only are more books in the works but I am a pro guest at some very exciting Cons, including ConQuest 43, Convergence, and more. And for ChamBana Con which I depart for in just a few hours for the weekend.

I’m thankful I can look forward to time at Rainforest Writer’s Village again this February. And other adventures which will develop but I’m not even aware of yet.

I’m thankful for the serialization of my debut novel on Ray Gun Revival.

I’m thankful for a publisher whose passion for my novel and me is a daily encouragement.

I’m thankful for two lovely, sweet doggies whose joy at being with me and seeing me delights and encourages me every hour of every day.

Okay, that’s the best I can do for a happy ending. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Now if only I had a job…

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, the collection The North Star Serial, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. He can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog. His second novel, The Returning, sequel to The Worker Prince, is forthcoming in Summer 2012.

3 5-star & 6 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh$14.99 tpbhttp://bit.ly/qIJCkS

Reality Check: Thoughts On American Education

Published on November 23, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan

True story. In college, I said “I’m never going to use Algebra and Calculus and you all know it. Give me a math class I can use.” They shook their heads, smiled at me like I was daft, and put me in basic math. We learned how to balance checkbooks, calculate interest, budget, etc. Best math class I ever took and I was the one laughing in the end.

What does this have to do with anything? Well, today’s post is me wondering why a country which was once, deservedly perhaps, known as the greatest country in the world, and which still clings to its sole superpower status, is so behind in adapting certain realities. For example, the whole world uses the metric system. It’s easier than our system, for one, and it’s not based on associations with body parts and such, like feet, etc., which can vary from person to person. (Ever try and measure feet with 13.5 inch shoes like me and compare to someone with 7 inch shoes? Ridiculous.) We insist kids learn Algebra and Calculus and Geometry, when, in truth, while some basics of reasoning which come from those are essential to life, they could be taught in other ways and the subject matter made more relevant to the realities kids and adults actually face in the real world (like my example above). Why aren’t we teaching kids things that matter? Calculating the distance between two trains running on the same tracks at different speeds and when they will collide is not vital. If some idiot allows two trains going opposite directions on the same track with no plan to get them off, it’s probably because of his bad education and not being taught the things he or she really needed to know, isn’t it?

How much help would it be to teach our kids how to evaluate themselves by various factors rather than still over emphasizing sports as coolness? Later in life, how many people can rely on sports abilities for their friendships and popularity? Just as my uncle, Dave Hale, who once played for the Chicago Bears and had to retire with a knee injury. He’ll tell you how long that all lasts.

How about teaching our kids how to load dishwashers? Sew buttons? Mend clothes? Wash clothes? Basic maintenance and home repair? Oh wait, sorry, those are the parents’ responsibility, right? The same parents whom statistics show annually spend less and less time with their kids as a family because of dual jobs, divorce, and other realities of multitasking modern life.

Why do we insist on forcing kids to read the same classic books their grandparents read in school over and over despite the fact that some, while well written, are so dated and out of touch with contemporary kids that they find them boring and totally unrelatable? Is it any wonder reading has faded in popularity? What if we actually encouraged them to read for fun just to get them reading? Do we really believe they wouldn’t learn anything? Do we really believe they might not actually one day read classics on their own because they want to? Would that be such a bad thing?

And what about teaching people practical science too? I made it through life without ever taking a single class in chemistry. The -ologies I have used the most are Psychology, Astronomy and Sociology. I think basic science is important. But sometimes I wonder if we’re teaching the right subjects. It depends a child’s goals, of course. And exposure to a variety of things is important. I am all for encouraging the sense of wonder which leads to scientific exploration but I do sometimes wonder if we choose subjects because they’re relevant or just because they’re tradition.

Oh science is important, don’t get me wrong. So are culture and socioeconomics. In our diverse world, if we don’t teach this things, we are just leading to the destruction of our unity which is already occurring. People should learn respect for each other and gain some understanding of socioeconomic realities and the differences which result as well as the cultural differences which separate us and how to respect and overcome them. Those are real, needed skills. Why not teach those?

I recently encountered a man in his 30s with terrible spelling who told me his school didn’t teach spelling and grammar. They were deemed less important than other subjects. WHAT?! How in the world could anyone determine that? I hear from teachers all the time about how much of a problem online speak has become in classrooms. Students employ it in situations totally inappropriately and it has really caused issues with spelling and grammar practices. Have we given up then and stopped teaching it all together? Yes, let’s be the greatest illiterate national on Earth, shall we? That’s a way to maintain our status for sure.

Another issue is the bias in classrooms. The fact that the educational establishment tends toward one side of the political spectrum over the other and teaches accordingly is a real problem. How can students learn to think through issues fairly and form their own opinions if they’re taught biased perspectives and never given a fair chance to hear both sides? How can the generations which are our future be counted on for new and innovative ideas to change our world for the better if they can’t think for themselves? It’s indicated in the ideological warfare tearing our country apart at present. With each side declaring the other stupid and itself superior, no wonder we have a country so divided. Teaching children one side over another is just adding to this problem. And private schools with the opposite political bent are just as much of a problem. Like it or not, your children will have to learn to think for themselves to succeed in life and have great futures. The skills needed to do so must be taught in a classroom. Biased teaching cannot provide them with the needed skills training.

Last but not least, we undervalue education. Is it any wonder the development of new methodologies and materials moves often at turtle crawl when we are so quick to cut education budgets in favor of other things? I can’t think of anything more important in life than solid education. Yet our country continues to pay teachers low wages, slash school budgets, and act as if education is a minor concern. All of the issues I posit above are unlikely to be addressed as long as education is a low priority for spending.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my country, despite my disgust with a lot of the problems mentioned. I respect education. I respect teachers. And I am not really suggesting we just dump all the subjects I use as examples. But as I look back on my life and how much my educational background has mattered to me, and as I reflect on the situations encountered in travelling to multiple countries and continents over the past twenty years, I definitely think we need to reexamine our priorities. We need to consider new ideas and be willing to admit we don’t always get it right. How can we make the subjects we teach and the way we teach them relevant to students and their lives? Times change and we must change with them. If we don’t, we are in denial of reality. And living in denial is no way to run a country successfully. The present actions of government ought to be testimony enough of that.

For what it’s worth…

3 5-star & 6 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh$14.99 tpbhttp://bit.ly/qIJCkS

Excerpt: Chapter One – The Relic Of Aken–My Sword & Sorcery WIP

Published on November 22, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan

Ordinarily I wouldn’t share something so early on but since this is a teaching blog, I thought it might be interesting to post an early chapter of this work in progress, a sword and sorcery book, and then perhaps look at it later when it’s published or at least further along. So for what it’s worth, here’s Chapter One (1st draft with a few polishes) of my sword and sorcery novel in progress The Relic Of Aken:

Chapter One:
Thieves

Bel made his way through the crowded market ignoring the stares. Father just had to send him to the market on traveler’s day. He could pretend it was the sight of someone like him in the brown monk’s cloak, but he knew better. The Degan locals were used to seeing him, a towering figure with greenish skin, slightly pointed ears and canine tusks protruding above his lower lip on each side. “Beast” was a word he’d often heard used to describe himself. “Sub-human” and “Perversion” were others. He had to be careful not to seem brutish. It wasn’t easy for a person his size to move through tight spaces packed with stalls and people without bumping into others, and, with his size and strength, even the slightest bump could leave a bruise. The gods had cursed him from birth, he figured.

He focused his attention back toward where he’d last seen Holly. The short human girl’s ability to easily blend into any crowd was a liability here. If it weren’t for Bel’s height, he’d never have been able to track her movements. She moved way too quickly. The smell of human sweat mixed with animal droppings, leather, fresh meats and dust. It was a smell locked into his memory, one he detected blocks ahead, every time he drew near the market.

A red-haired human head bobbed ahead as it ducked under a large basket being carried between them by two fat human males. As she returned to normal height beyond them, Holly glanced back and their eyes met. She smiled. Who’d have ever thought a human girl and a half-orc could be best friends? The warmth in her green eyes melted the tension of his frustration. She stopped and waited for him.

He weaved past a man arguing animatedly with a young cock-eyed vendor, then arced around a wagon where other humans were unloading fresh, round melons into a stall and joined his friend.

“Try and keep up, will you?”

Bel snarled at her. “Try being my size in a place like this.”

Holly laughed. “Just roar and they’ll clear the way.”

“Father instructed me to avoid drawing attention to myself.” The way the old priest said it had been more like an order.

Holly rolled her eyes. “Where’s the fun in that?” Then she was off again, leaving Bel with the same quandary as he hurried to keep up.

Pale skinned, with hair down past her waist, Hollyanna was beautiful by human standards. Bel had heard boys outside the monastery talking about her many times. Sweet as a fresh picked grape, the apprentice blacksmith had befriended him from the week he arrived at the monastery. It had been her more than anyone else who’d taught him how to feel at home amongst humans. He wouldn’t have survived without her playful guidance and cheerful encouragement. They’d become fast friends and spent every spare moment they could together. Bel often wondered if it was his presence alone which had kept her from having many suitors. She never groused about it but he imagined she got lonely. After all, many other girls her age were married or betrothed and Holly was the best pick in the entire village.

He heard a grunt and stopped as he bumped something soft, looking down into Holly’s crossed eyes. “Uh, pay attention. I’m standing here.”

“Sorry.”

“What are you so busy thinking about that you’d run me over like that?”

Bel shrugged. “Fresh grapes.”

Holly’s mouth twisted as it always did when she was sure she’d heard a lie. “You’re hungry already? Gertie stuffed us before we left. You really need to shrunk that orcan stomach of yours.”

From anyone else, Bel would have regarded it as an insult. But Holly accepted him for who he is and her honesty was one of the things he treasured about their relationship. Other than Father, she was one of the only humans with guts enough to speak honestly to him.

“How much further? Are we sightseeing or shopping?” he cocked his head so he could roll his eyes upward as he looked at her.

She laughed. “I’m scoping the best prices, Bel.”

“You haven’t spoken to anyone but me that I’ve seen.”

“I don’t need to. I have acute powers of observation.” She grinned and turned abruptly down a narrow corridor between stalls.

Bel followed, drawing immediate ire from vendors as their tents vibrated every time his shoulders rubbed against the overhanging tarps forming their roofs. Hanging fruits thumped softly, seashell necklaces jangled, and crystal strands twisted as he made his way through.

“Your short cuts are not meant for half-orcs,” he commented as he stopped at a stall beside Holly. He recognized it as one they’d passed earlier on their way into the market.

“You made it, didn’t you? Just relax and let me negotiate so we can go home.”

As soon as the vendor’s eyes met hers, she was off to bargaining. Every item he showed her was the finest quality, he said. Nothing satisfied her expectations though. Bel chuckled to himself as he watched the vendor’s face redden with rising irritation.

Three young human males nearby stared and chattered, but their eyes were focused on Holly not him. She’d taken off her leather smithing apron before they’d left and was dressed in brown c otton pants that stretched tightly over her waist and thighs and a loose, low cut blouse which showed more flesh than Bel remembered seeing before. Was she trying to draw attention? He stepped forward a foot and glared at the boys, who quickly disappeared to busy themselves with other tasks.

Okay, so he didn’t want her lonely but that didn’t mean just anyone was good enough for his best friend.

In a few moments, she’d purchased several herbs and potions and began winding her way back through the crowded masses. This time, Bel stayed close on her heels.

“You didn’t have to scare them off,” she said as they left the last row of stalls and moved along the wider, less crowded cobblestone street which led to the stables.

“Who?” A glance told him she’d meant the boys. “They were young and derelict. You deserve better.”

“It’s not like I’ve got men pounding down the shop doors, Bel. It wouldn’t have hurt to let them admire me.”

“Father sent me to protect you. I was obeying his wishes.”

She leaned over and punched him hard in the arm. “From danger, not harmless stares.”

“Staring’s how all the danger begins.”

They turned a corner and Bel saw two men in the shadows watching a store across the street. A woman appeared, dressed frilly from head to toe, beautiful white lace decorating every curve and junction of her very expensive dress and hat. She carried a large bag draped over one arm as she hurried across the street toward an alley near where the men were waiting.

“Someone’s about to prove me right right now,” Bel said as his eyes turned back to the two human males. They were about to do something very stupid, he knew the signs.

Moments later, as the woman entered the alley, oblivious to their presence a few feet away in the shadows, they slipped in after her and Bel quickened his pace.

“Where are you going?” Holly sounded annoyed. “We’ve got to get back in time for lunch or Krell will never let me hear the end of it.”

A scream came from the alley, and Bel ignored her and raced forward through the shadows the two men had just vacated.

Entering the alley, he saw the woman backed against a wall, her pale face even whiter as her brown eyes widened with fear.

“Give us the bag!” A hairy bulk of a man said as he skinny, taller companion grinned lasciviously at her.

“He can have the bag. I want more!”

The bulky man tore the bag free of her grasp as his friend lunged, ripping the dress with a loud snap as the woman screamed again.

Bel let the roar rise from deep within, a soft rumble at first that soon rivaled a clap of thunder. Both men spun, startled, as the woman’s scream loudened at the sight of Bel.

“Leave her be!” Bel growled it.

The men’s eyes widened and the bulky one both dropped the bag as they bumped into each other trying to get away from the woman and take off down the alley away from him. Their footsteps pounded the cobblestones, dust flying with every step.

Bel turned to the woman, trying to soften his eyes. “Stay here. I’ll be back for you.” The woman’s eyes widened again and she screamed as Bel raced off after the two men.

His own boots boomed on the street as he turned a corner, closing on the men. The bulky one glanced back, panting. He was slower and clearly less in shape than his companion. Both were dressed like farmhands, worn wool pants and pull over shirts stained with the dirt of their labors, now turning steadily to mud from their sweat.

“Hurry!” the skinny one mumbled as he lead the way into another alley across the street.

The bulky man squealed as Bel’s large hand wrapped around his neck and ripped him off his feet and over the half-orc’s shoulder.

“Struggle and I’ll toss you like a catapult,” Bel warned as he continued running forward after the skinnier man.

The bulky man fell quiet, except for a few whimpers each time Bel’s running stride jostled him against muscled shoulders.

The skinny man turned a corner and stopped, puzzled. Bel hurried toward him and the man spun, running back straight at them, a knife appearing in his hand. The blade was long but looked worn and dull, having no shine.

“Stop! Now!”

The skinny man waved the knife. “Let me go, orc, or I’ll hurt you good.”

Bel could smell the alcohol on his breath from several feet away. The stench just strengthened as he approached. “Go ahead. It’ll appease my guilt if I have to kill you.”

The man growled and swung the knife in a wide arc. Bel pounded a boot hard on the pavement, sending vibrations through the cobblestones and causing the human to lose his balance. He swung an arm straight forward, intercepting the swing ing arm at the wrist and twisting. The man cried out in agony as the knife dropped, clanging against the stones of the street.

“This is a human town! Your kind are unwelcome here!” The skinny man screamed it as Bel yanked him off his feet and swung him over the opposite shoulder from his bulky friend.

“Shut up or I’ll make you do it.”

“She stole from us! We were just getting it back!”

The bulky man mumbled in agreement.

With one motion, Bel yanked them off his shoulders and sent them hurling to the street. They landed side by side in a pile of refuse, heads banging against the stones, leaving them dazed.

“I warned you.” He grabbed them again, this time encountering no resistance and swung them back over his shoulders, carrying them back the way he’d come.

“I thought Father instructed you to resist your violent tendencies.” Holly was in the street, waiting, her arm around the crying woman, offering what comfort she could.

“They started it,” he said with a shrug.

“Let’s get them to the authorities and get on our way then, okay?”

Bel nodded and followed as she led the way.

3 5-star & 6 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh$14.99 tpbhttp://bit.ly/qIJCkS

Write Tip: The Dichotomy Of Writing Life-Dealing With Criticism

Published on November 21, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan4 Comments

Two of the most valuable skills one must cultivate as a writer are being hypersensitive to write passionate, powerful, emotion-filled prose, and having a thick skin to handle criticism. Ironically, these two skills are often diametrically opposed. How can you be thick skinned and sensitive at the same time? In truth, I don’t know anyone who can.

Criticism hurts, no matter who’s giving it or what it says. No one who puts themselves out there, especially artistically–pouring their emotions, thoughts, ideas, and heart into their work–enjoys it when people criticize that work. It’s just hard to hear. Some may claim to be immune, but being used to it and being immune are not the same thing. One can certainly learn to accept that criticism is often a daily, or at least weekly, part of the life of an artist, especially when work is newly released. But I don’t honestly know how one can ever totally get to the point where it doesn’t sting. After all, any serious artist, of whatever medium, works hard to do their best at what they do. From studying craft, learning tools, and experimenting to long hours conceptualizing and planning, serious art takes work.

Having my first novel out there for seven weeks, it’s been hard to hear that I didn’t do it perfectly. The human side of me, which knows all of us are imperfect and that I still have lots of room to grow as a writer (always will), knows that people will find fault with my work. But the artist side of me cringes and feels a jab in the heart region every time they do. Mostly I have learned to bite my tongue and just keep it to myself. Occasionally my publisher and I discuss it. It’s hard sometimes to keep your mouth shut when you feel the criticisms are unfair (which is not every time). I’ve made a mistake a time or two but, in every case, I made sure to learn anything I could to apply in future novels so I won’t have to hear the same criticisms again. My goal is to make them work hard to find faults. It may be difficult to reach that point, but that’s what I’m shooting for.

I think it was especially hard with the first novel because it was, for me, my legitimization as a serious professional writer. Not self-published, not a free zine, this was someone paying me an advance against earnings for something I wrote, spending money on editing, printing, cover art, etc. Serious professional writers were writing blurbs and reading it to do so. For me, this book sent a message: Bryan Thomas Schmidt is for real about being a professional writer. He’s a peer.

It’s hard to explain that feeling to someone who hasn’t gone through it or isn’t preparing to, but, in part, it’s a sense of not wanting to let anyone down. People have supported and helped and encouraged me, and I wanted those efforts to have been worthy of the work I put out in the world. Of course, even name writers like Stephen King and Orson Scott Card and Mike Resnick get bad reviews. We all get criticized but if my book is sharing the shelf space, I just want to feel like I belong there. Do you know what I mean? Shelf space in bookstores and on bookseller tables is in high demand and all the more so as stores like Borders go bankrupt. It’s a competition just to get your book on the shelves, so if I ask someone to carry my book, I want them to get some income to make it worth their while. If not, why should they ever support me again?

Also, publishing a book feels so permanent. This is something which may one day make it into collections or library shelves. People may hold on to it and pass it down to kids, grandkids, pass it to friends, etc. My name and my picture will forever be associated with it. So I want that association to be a good thing, not one I or anyone else regrets. No frowns. Smiles. That’s what I want when people think of Bryan Thomas Schmidt and fiction. And when they criticize it for faults, I feel like I failed in that.

It’s best, of course, to remember that opinions are subjective. What’s the old saying? “Opinions are like buttholes. Everyone has one.” That’s crass, yes, but it’s true. And the reality is not everyone is going to like your work. Taste is a huge factor. Some people just don’t get science fiction or fantasy. Some people won’t like anything without serious, hard researched science involved. Some people won’t like your book because the characters aren’t like them. Some won’t like it because you had a male antagonist and not a female. The list of reasons can go on eternally. But in the end, those are just opinions. Your target audience will rarely be “everyone.” There are always specifics. So if you aim to please those people and yourself, I think you can find satisfaction.

For example, I knew when it went out that my book wasn’t perfect. I knew that from the first agent query rejection and publisher rejection. Not everyone liked my book or thought it was perfect. Okay. But I knew that would never be the case. I could never please everyone. It’s that way with everything in life. Instead, I focused my attention on how to make the book the best it could possibly be right up until the final deadline. If I wrote The Worker Prince today, I’d do things differently. In many cases, I’d do things better. Writing book 2, The Returning, was so much easier for a reason: I learned craft in the past two years I didn’t have when I wrote book 1. Every book has lessons learned which you automatically apply to future works, so every book should be easier and better, in theory. So my goal was to release the best book I could at that point in my writer’s journey and to know I had to be satisfied that I did my best. It’s all I can ask of myself.

How do you be sensitive enough to write characters who come alive with emotion and touch readers and still have a thick skin for criticism? I don’t have the answer. The best advice I have is to focus on what you can change and let the rest go. If you can find tips to improve your writing in the criticisms, use it. If you can’t, let it go. If you can do that, you can’t ask much more of yourself. Sorry if you were looking for easy answers. I don’t have them. But as long as you remember that writing is a journey and a process that never ends and stay on the road of discovery, I think you can recognize you’re growing and so will your works and that makes it easier to accept the bad with the good in critics. At least, that’s my approach.

For what it’s worth…

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, the collection The North Star Serial, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming from Diminished Media Group in 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. He can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog.

‎3 5-star & 8 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh $14.99 tpb http://bit.ly/qIJCkS.

Write Tip: 10 Tips For Writing Dialogue Better

Published on November 17, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan2 Comments

Writing dialogue can be a challenge for some writers more than others, but it’s an extremely important part of good fiction. There are many tools and techniques one can use, the most important being to use your powers of observation. By listening to dialogue of the real people around you, you can learn how people talk, especially people of different socioeconomic, educational and age groups. But there are craft elements involved as well. Here’s 10 Tips For Writing Better Dialogue:

1) Use Simple Tags Sparingly. Fancy tags like “he expostulated” or “she espoused” are less clear and more distracting than anything. So keep the tags simple when you absolutely must use them. Instead, convey the manner in which a character speaks instead. Make it obvious from what is said.

2) Instead Of Tags, Use Actions. People talk while actively engaging in activities. So should your characters. Giving them business to do during dialogue allows you to identify who’s speaking without resorting to overused tags. Some can come in the form of characterizing the speaker: “His eyebrows lifted with menace,” for example. “Bob’s fist clenched as he spoke.” “Tears rolled down her cheek with every word.”

3) Avoid Expositional Dialogue When Possible. We’ve all violated this rule, but especially when two characters should already know the information being imparted, it seems unnatural and distracting. In such cases, internal monologue is a better tool and more natural. Characters may think about stuff they already know but they wouldn’t tell each other stuff each of them knows.

4) Keep It Short. People talk in choppy sentences. Long soliloquies are rare. So in dialogue, use a combination of short sentences to make it flow and feel like real people talking. Let them interrupt each other, too. People do that in real life. It adds to the pace, tension and drama of it.

5) Avoid Phonetic Spellings For Accents. They are difficult to read. Indications of dialect can be used instead to get the reader to do the rest. Overuse of a dialect becomes distracting to readers and can actually take them out of the story. Keep the words your characters say as unobtrusive as possible so your story flows seamlessly.

6) Dialogue Is Conflict. Conflict keeps the story moving. People talk like they’re playing table tennis–back and forth. This moves the story forward. Lace your dialogue with conflict. It adds dramatic urgency to every line the characters say and keeps the story’s pace.

7) Use Other Characters. Let a character imply who’s speaking to them by saying something specific to only that person. If you use business well (see number 2 above), having a character refer to something the other character is doing is a great way to do this.

8 ) Give Each Character A Distinctive Voice. Overdo it and its caricature but we all have our own speech tics. Create some for your characters and sprinkle them throughout. Readers will learn them and know who’s speaking. For example, Captain Jack Sparrow loves the term of affection: “love” and uses that a lot. He also says “Savvy?” a great deal as well. He has others you can probably remember, too. Study characterization and see what other writers have done.

9) Speak It Aloud. Talk it out. Get inside the heads of your characters and say the lines. Play out the conversation you’ve written. Does it sound natural? Does it flow? Your ear is often a better judge than your eyes and hearing it will give you an idea how readers will hear it.

10) Remember What Medium You’re Writing For. TV and Film dialogue and novel dialogue are not necessarily the same. There is no third party to use intonation, facial expressions and/or body language to bring it to life. Your words alone are the conduit between yourself and the reader and your prose skills and the readers’ imaginations make it work.

Well, those are my 10 Tips of the moment for writing better dialogue. Do you have any others? We’d love for you to share them in the comments.

My latest project:

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novels The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Book Clubs Year’s Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, and The Returning, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and several short stories featured in anthologies and magazines. He edited the anthology Space Battles: Full Throttle Space Tales #6 for Flying Pen Press, headlined by Mike Resnick. As a freelance editor, he’s edited a novels and nonfiction. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chat every Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter under the hashtag #sffwrtcht. A frequent contributor to Adventures In SF Publishing, Grasping For The Wind and SFSignal, he can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.

3 5-star & 6 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh$14.99 tpbhttp://bit.ly/qIJCkS

Preorder THE RETURNING here for June 19th release!

Press Release: Ray Gun Revival Serializes The Worker Prince

Published on November 14, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan

I am pleased to announce an agreement with Ray Gun Revival magazine to serialize my debut novel, The Worker Prince, starting later this month. Installments should run biweekly, a chapter at a time, carrying the novel over the next six months into 2012. The final chapter will post near the time my second novel, The Returning, a sequel to The Worker Prince, is published.

The Worker Prince is the story of Davi Rhii, a prince of the Boralian Alliance, who discovers he was secretly born of slaves and adopted by his mother, Princess Miri. When he’s assigned to Vertullis, the home planet of the slaves, called workers, he discovers that life for them is far worse than he’d ever imagined. And their humanity is far more like his own than he’d ever dreamed. When he raises objections to these conditions, he comes into conflict with his uncle, Xalivar, who leads the Borali Alliance, along with his coworkers and friends. Then a tragedy occurs involving a fellow officer and Davi finds himself on the run. When his birth family helps him escape, he soon finds himself aligned with the Vertullians in their fight for freedom.

An action packed space opera in the vein of Star Wars and other Golden Age Science Fiction stories, The Worker Prince debuted October 4th, 2011 from Diminished Media Group out of Pittsford, Michigan. It is available via online vendors such as Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords and also through my author’s website store . More details, blurbs, etc. can be found on my site here. The Worker Prince has gotten 3 4-star and 5 4-star reviews to date and continues to achieve steady sales.

Ray Gun Revival (RGR) is a free web-based magazine founded in 2006 by Johne Cook, L.S. King, and Paul Christian Glenn and features space opera and golden age sci-fi short stories and some of the best cover art in the genre. The editors refer to themselves collectively as The Overlords and frequently threaten to ‘vaporize your puny planet’ for a wide variety of imaginary infractions.

RGR was hosted from 2006 to 2010 by Double-edged Publishing. During a short haitus, the editors were approached by author Jordan Ellinger, a winner of the Writers of the Future contest and co-founder of Every Day Fiction with Camille Gooderham Campbell. Starting in 2011, RGR has been hosted by Every Day Publishing and publishes four stories per month paying semi-pro rates.

RGR celebrated their the start of their sixth year of publication in July, 2011. Site: http://raygunrevival.com

3 5-star & 6 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh$14.99 tpbhttp://bit.ly/qIJCkS

The Hazards Of Online-Speak & The Loss Of Grammar

Published on November 14, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan5 Comments

I didn’t even realize this problem existed until recently. At the airport in Atlanta, I spoke with a college instructor who’s taught for forty years, and then I heard about it again at interviews for a job at a local university. Spelling and grammar are in serious danger. Ok, yes, this example is silly and funny and from 3rd grade, but I remember learning grammar and spelling in 1st grade. And something like carrots or horses, I probably knew by 3rd grade. Okay, perhaps it gave you a good laugh. I’m glad, but this post is serious. Unlike my norm, this post has nothing to do with science fiction. This is all fact. Are some kids spelling challenged more than others? Well, sure, okay, I can accept that, but these days there’s a far bigger culprit for spelling and grammar ills: ONLINE SPEAK.

Hw r u?

F & u?

Doing gr8. thx 4 asking

Look familiar?

Would you believe that kind of spelling shows up in college essays, on college exams and, even worse, in business applications and letters from college grads? Would you believe this trend has been happening for several years?

Having never received one of those missives, I had no idea. But I am told this is a HUGE problem these days. I guess I’m ignorant. I assumed people knew that such online shortcuts are acceptable in context of online features such as Twitter or even cell phone texting, but I also assumed they knew they had no place in serious correspondence. Apparently, I was wrong. And this is a real problem.

Imagine a society where people stop using grammar and spelling? What place is there for people who do? Will all the books currently in existence go out of print? Will people laugh at people who actually make an effort to communicate correctly? And what about translations? You can’t translate those shortcuts into foreign language easily.

The same conversation in Portuguese would have to look something like this:

Cmo ta?

Td bm. E vc?

Td bm tmbm. brgd

Translation is hard, trust me. And it’s hard already when proper grammar is involved. Dealing with that crap is extremely challenging. If I didn’t know what such short cuts looks like from having seen them, I probably couldn’t have done that.

I met a guy recently who told me he actually never studied much grammar and spelling in school. It was deemed less important than other things.

WHAT?!!!!!

Communication is not important? That’s woefully frightening. It could lead to the downfall of our civilization. No, I’m not being overly dramatic. What would happen if we can’t understand each other? More wars? Maybe. Lots of problems and frustration. It absolutely blows my mind that any school would consider grammar and spelling unimportant. They are so fundamental to every other subject.

It’s a scary thought, if you ask me. It’s something everyone should sit back, take a deep breath, and pray to whatever higher force you believe in that it won’t happen.; Because it’s absolutely going to devastate our competitive edge with the rest of the world and our ability to live in peace with ourselves, let alone anyone else. It’s absolutely one of the worst things we could have happen in our society–to lose communication skills. And if it’s progressed this far already, I can’t imagine where that will lead.

There are hazards to online and digital communication mediums I’d never imagined; pitfalls which never occurred to me. I sincerely hope we can find a way to reverse this one before it’s too late. Don’t you?

For what it’s worth…

3 5-star & 6 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh$14.99 tpbhttp://bit.ly/qIJCkS

Self-Publishing v. Traditional Publishing: Why Quality Still Matters

Published on November 9, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan3 Comments

On my Facebook page, the other day, I lamented the fact that lost in the present debate over PC terminology surrounding the Self-Publishing v. Traditional Publishing debate are some good points about contracts, quality and other concerns. This led to a discussion between fellow author David Boop and I about what distinguishes good from bad and the key element mentioned was editing. Self-Publishing authors, even Print On Demand presses, who do not approach publishing with the same professionalism as traditionally published pros in regards to edited, polished presentation of their work are the ones who tend to cause both readers and fellow authors a lot of frustration and concern. Of course, editing standards and taste do vary, so people might still find nitpicky complaints, but at least the polish and shine would be evident and the resulting works would meet a higher standard more comparable with other items you see coming out of more traditional presses.

But then someone jumped in with this comment, which really concerns me:

Regarding SP crap and typos, maybe there is a new day coming. Imagine, as John Lennon said, a world in which new authors are routinely forgiven, not condemned for typos and a few lapses in story development. Instead, readers seek out and find authors who have something new or entertaining to say, not giving a thought to the odd error here or there, because readers understand newcomers have little help, just their native storytelling ability. Don’t forget, it’s really all about readers and what they think these days, not publishers.

The commenter here is a writer and scientist. Although I have not read his work in either area so can’t verify credentials, let’s just take him at his word and instead address what concerns me about the comment. (To be fair, he now says he agrees with me on quality that he did not mean to imply that at all but I am still discussing this because the notion of authors being forgiven for lowered standards still disturbs me. And this quote is verbatim though I shall not name him.)

I hope that era never comes. Quality matters. Professionalism matters. Presentation matters. Grammar matters. Clear communication matters. It’s not just about ideas. It’s about craft. It’s an art. And I don’t believe it will ever cease to be an art nor should it. There will always be discerning readers and undiscerning readers. But any writer who is not concerned with growing and constantly striving to do better is short changing themselves and their readers both. There will also always be people who don’t care about such things but I hope they remain the minority because the lowest common denominator is no standard I want to work by. Do readers matter? Of course they do. The consumer always matters in a business. But taste is very subjective. And what helps you appeal to the broadest base of consumer has always been putting out consistently quality merchandise onto the market. The day quality stops being a concern because “people don’t care” would be a sad day for the literary arts and would ultimately lead to its destruction. Because the day people stop caring about making quality work is the day we begin to not care how our work engages, challenges, teaches, touches, and interacts with our audience. And the minute you start down that path you aim yourself at a standard which eventually means nothing you produce will be worth consuming.

The commenter’s point was he got ignored by traditional presses, self-published, got Hollywood interest and success so who needs them. My point back was that he’s an exception not a rule and one case does not a pattern make. In other words, he got lucky. It doesn’t negate concerns of quality nor the validity of traditional publishing as a route to success. I personally think any author who fails to educate him or herself about the business and every possible option to sell his/her work as well as how to achieve professionalism is playing the fool. If you don’t care enough to make your work the best it can be and to utilize all options to make it available, why should someone else care to go out and find it and spend money on it?

Books have gotten expensive. So have movies. I care very much about where my limited money goes in regards to such entertainment and I think I’m in the majority not the minority on that. If I pay $10 or more to see a movie and it sucks, I get pissed, which is why I don’t go to movie theaters as much any more and when I do go, it’s to matinees because they are cheaper. It’s why I don’t buy unknown hardbacks but instead buy paperbacks because until I know a book is worth adding to a permanent library with investment in a hardback, I am not risking my hard earned money on one. There are authors whose quality I consistently trust. I’ll go straight to hardback with them every time. I have rarely been disappointed. And that just brings me back to quality again. The only reason I know those authors’ work will be quality I can trust in is because they care about professionalism in how they prepare and present their work. I would buy work by any of these authors regardless of the publishing medium–traditional, self-published or POD–because I know their standards for themselves and their work and know that I will be getting a quality product in any of those cases if their name is attached. I won’t have to forgive lots off typos or gaps in story development. Those things won’t exist to distract me from the work itself. (Put aside for a moment the fact that I have yet to buy a single book where I can’t find at least two typos–that’s a lapse in copyediting practices and the nature of the beast rather than a failure to seek quality. And editing is far more than just grammar and typos–eliminating cliches, knowing tropes, positioning a book within the genre or market–there are so many factors an editor can bring to awareness and help polish).

I don’t buy the argument that newcomers have little help and that’s an excuse to put out work that doesn’t meet professional standards. There are editors and others who are available to work with anyone who is willing to invest the time and money to get it right. No one can really say those things are not available to them. They may be too lazy to look for them. They may not care (for more often the case, I fear). But they could achieve professionalism if they really cared about it and wouldn’t necessarily cost them an arm and a leg.

If the day comes when we don’t care about such things, it will be a great loss for all of us and for our society. We will have lost not only an opportunity to achieve greatness in literature (or at least try) but an ability to communicate well. And any society without good communication is doomed to ridicule from other societies which hold higher standards (they will always exist) and from future generations who recognize the failure, the trap it leads to, and how destructive it was. It’s a denigration of our legacy, in a sense. And that’s something I care not to be a part of. So, my commenting friend, I do hope you’re very wrong indeed.

For what it’s worth…

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novel The Worker Prince, the collection The North Star Serial, and has several short stories forthcoming in anthologies and magazines. His second novel, The Returning, is forthcoming in Summer 2012. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chatevery Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter, where he interviews people like Mike Resnick, AC Crispin, Kevin J. Anderson and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. He can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Excerpts from The Worker Prince can be found on his blog.

‎3 5-star & 8 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh $14.99 tpb http://bit.ly/qIJCkS.

Write Tip: 10 Resources For Educating Yourself About Book Contracts

Published on November 7, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan

DISCLAIMER: I am not a lawyer, thus, no legal advice is implied nor offered in the following post. What I offer instead are resources and ideas for how to inform yourself and prepare for understanding and negotiating contracts with better satisfaction and success.

You’ve written a book, run it through beta readers, then polished it until it sparkled. Then you queried, waited, now it’s out and someone’s interested. Congratulations. Soon you may have an actual book contract in your hands. But you don’t know anything about contracts. How do you find out what you need to know to make sure you get the best deal, to make sure you know what you’re signing? Here’s some resources to help:

1) Get Yourself An Intellectual Property Attorney–Agents are not attorneys. Neither are publishers. And it’s unethical for them to give you legal advice. Besides, they are in business to serve their interests first, not yours. So get someone whose job is to be on your side. That’s the IP Attorney. How do you find one? Author Laura Resnick offers a list on her site here. Novelists Inc offers a list for members. Author friends and acquaintances can recommend them. But don’t just roll dice and hire them. Know what to ask and vet them first. Make sure the one you hire is a good fit. You can get recommendations from friends, but you can also check them out. Here’s 10 Questions You Should Ask.

2) Learn About Copyright–It’s boring, yes, but it’s absolutely essentially. I post on how to register copyrights here but what you really need is to understand the law. One of the best books for you to check out, and there are others, is The Copyright Handbook from Nolo Press. You can also read a lot directly from the Library Of Congress Copyright Office’s site at http://www.copyright.gov/. Novelists, Inc. has copyright info here.

3) Familiarize Yourself With Contracts–The SFWA (Science Fiction & Fantasy Writers of America) offers sample contracts on their site. For television and film contracts, Writers Guild Of America West has examples on their site here. Novelists, Inc. also has great stuff on their blog here.

4) Buy Negotiating a Book Contract: A Guide for Authors, Agents and Lawyers by Mark Levine. This book is written by an experienced IP Attorney and examines clauses in detail: what they mean, what they mean to you, why they matter, and how to get what’s best for you. It’s a thin book but rich with data and well written. Absolutely essential. I used it in negotiating my own first book contract to great success. There are other books out there but this one I know is helpful and accurate.

5) Visit The Business Rusch–Kristine Katherine Rusch is a very experienced author and editor who blogs regularly about the publishing business, copyright and contracts. She does not offer legal advice but she does help authors understand how things work and what they need to know. Very helpful, very extensive.

6) Visit http://www.thepassivevoice.com/–another informative blog on all things publishing, contract, and writing related. Very helpful information on negotiations, agents, contracts, and more.

7) Talk With Other Authors–As you can see, there are plenty of authors out there willing to offer advice, lists, etc. Find one you know, especially one who works with your genre because they’ll have experience with the publishers and agents you’ll be dealing with, and ask them who their IP attorney is and get their advice on negotiating. What are things you should look out for? How did they educate themselves? Which aspects of the contract which matter most in their opinion?

8 ) Take A Contract Law Class–My Copyright Law class was one of the best I ever took in college. Very helpful throughout my creative career in so many ways. There are lots of them available at universities and colleges all over the country. If you’re serious about a career as a creative, you can never be too informed. Being under informed is the only liability here.

9) Consider The Author’s Guild Contract Services–The Guild offers legal services to help authors review contracts and get advice on negotiating them. For a reasonable fee, you get unbiased help from experts knowledgeable about ethics, the law and business standard practices to help you ensure you get the best deal and understand what you got.

10) Start Now–Don’t wait until a contract’s on the table. You don’t want to feel rushed or nervous then, so start educating yourself now. It’s often boring reading, so spread it out over time and do the research. This way when the time comes, you’ll be prepared.

Getting published is a huge accomplishment and one to be proud of but nothing can spoil it more than a bad contract or negative negotiating experience. I hope these suggestions help ease the process for you by aiding your preparation. It’s much better to feel confident you know enough to do what’s right and protect yourself so instead of worrying about a bad deal, you can enjoy the satisfaction of having a deal in the first place. What are your tips for learning about book contracts? We’d love to here more. Feel free to post them below.

3 5-star & 6 4-star reviews THE WORKER PRINCE $3.99 Kindlehttp://amzn.to/pnxaNm or Nook http://bit.ly/ni9OFh$14.99 tpbhttp://bit.ly/qIJCkS

Write Tip: The Importance Of Business

Published on November 3, 2011March 9, 2020 by Bryan2 Comments

There’s this little thing referred to in Hollywood script talk as “business.” It also gets a mention in Phil Athans’ excellent The Guide To Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy from Adams Media. “Business” in this instance is those little actions characters do underneath dialogue in scenes. You know, they’re having an argument and one washes dishes while the other shuffles paperwork on a desk, or they’re on the phone and each is doing something else while talking. What they’re doing in both examples is “business.” Using “business” in your fiction is a great technique to make your writing more vivid and realistic and reveal character at the same time, as well as move your plot forward.

For example, say you have a couple who are detectives but also date. At some point, you have them investigating a crime scene but while they’re doing it, they’re having a couple fight about some issue between them. That’s “business,” and, in this case, it moves two storylines along simultaneously if you do it right. Also, the mannerisms and actions of the characters can reveal things about them: their emotional state, their attitudes toward each other, their focus or lack there of, etc. Because “business” is something we all do in real life–sometimes hiding from it with the label multi-tasking–having characters do it adds depth to your story by bringing realistic life to scenes. So “business is a writing technique you want to learn about and practice whenever you can.

Let’s look at examples. One from a script, one from a novel.

First, because it’s popular and a lot of people have seen it, here’s a scene from the pilot of The Walking Dead TV series:

INT. A PARKED POLICE CRUISER - DAY

... revealing a SHOTGUN in its floor mount. CONTINUE
DRIFTING past a dangling DAY-GLO NET BAG containing a few
spare 9MM AMMO CLIPS and .357 5PEEDLOADER5 ...

SHANE (Offscreen)
In my experience? Never met a
woman who knew how to turn off
a light. It's genetic. They're
born thinking the switch only
goes one way -- on.

WE DRIFT past rubber-banded notebooks. A stapler. A dashmounted
cup of mismatched pens and pencils. All the little
telling details that show a cop car is a working office ...

SHANE (O.S.)
It's like they're struck blind
when they leave a room. Every
woman I ever let have a key,
swear to God, I come home and
my house is lit up like a mall
at Christmas.

We come to a GREASY TRAY-BOX OF FRIES on the dash. We
hear rustling fast-food wrappers, slurps of soda ...

SHANE (O.S.)
So then my job, apparently
because my chromosomes are
different, is to go through the
house and turn off every light
the chick left on.

A HAND reaches in, grabs fries, dips ketchup ...

SHANE (O.S.)
This, then, is the core basis
of the male-female dynamic. The
yin and the yang.

RICK (O. S.)
That right?

FOLLOW THE FRIES TO: OFFICER SHANE WALSH, County Police,
in the passenger seat outside a fast-food restaurant.

SHANE
Yeah, baby, Reverend Shane is
a'preachin to ya now ...

He shoves the fries in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

SHANE
The same chick, mind you, will
bitch about global warming.
That goes double if you want to
drive something with a decent
V6 under the hood, in which
case you're a selfish prick
killing baby polar bears.

He grabs the box of fries off the dash, passes them ...
REVEAL: Rick Grimes at the wheel, looking way more spitand-
polish than in the teaser, half-heartedly picking at
his burger. Rick's a quiet, Gary Cooper-type, has long
experience when it comes to listening to Shane.

SHANE
So Reverend Shane quotes from
the Guy Gospel: Well, darlin',
maybe if you and every other
pair of boobs on this planet
figured out the light switch
goes the other way too, we might
not have so much global warming.

RICK
You say that?

SHANE
The polite version. still. Earns
me a look of loathing you
wouldn't believe. Out comes
this Exorcist voice, out of
nowhere: "You're just like my
goddamn father! Always yelling
about the power bill and I should
turn the goddamn lights off!"
(looks to Rick)
See, to us it's just lights. To
them it's a traumatic flashback
that dredges up all their father
issues.

RICK
What do you say to that?

SHANE
I know what I want to say. I
want to say: Bitch, you mean to
say you been hearing this shit
all your life and you're still
too goddamn stupid to learn how
to turn off a switch?

Pause. Shane looks over.

SHANE
I don't actually say that,
though.

RICK
That would be bad.

SHANE
I do the polite version there
too.

RICK
Very wise.

What can we read from this business? We have two cops eating lunch in a cop car. They seem friendly and comfortable with each other. Neither is watching their manners in how they eat or how they talk, so we can infer that they are likely, in this case, partners, and used to sharing private details about themselves with each other, maybe even seeking advice. Also, they have to be ready at a moment’s notice to answer emergency calls so they eat on the run which means in the car and fast meals they can consume with limited time and hassle, hence the fast food. Can you see how much we’re learning about them already through this “business?”

Okay, now let’s look at how the same thing plays out in a novel. Here’s a scene from my debut novel The Worker Prince:

She stood in the shadows as he began looking them over. Two mech-bots entered through another tunnel and began working on some of the Skitters behind him. As she stepped out of the shadows into the cave, Davi looked up at her.

“Hey,” she said, with a slight wave and a smile.

“Hey,” he said, going back to examining the Skitters.

“How’d the rest of the session go?”

He shrugged. “We have a lot of work ahead of us.”

Not even eye contact. So maybe he was upset with her. “Sorry I left. I needed some air.”

“I was disappointed you didn’t stay for your turn,” Davi said as he examined another Skitter. “Seeing someone actually succeed on the simulators would have been encouraging. I sure could’ve used it.” His voice sounded tired.

“Was it really so bad?”

“You tell me. You saw how some of the students did,” Davi slid into the seat of a Skitter, fiddling with the controls.

“Some of them are a long way from being flight-worthy,” Tela said, watching the mech-bots working behind him.

“Some make me wonder if they ever will be.”

It saddened her to see him so discouraged. He had always been so positive and supportive of the students. She wanted to do something to cheer him up. She took a seat on another Skitter and turned it on, hearing the steady hum of the engine and feeling it rise up off the floor to float on the air as she adjusted the controls.

“Come with me.”

“For a joy ride?”

Tela smiled. “Sure. There’s something I want to show you.” She waved toward the Skitter he’d been examining.

He shrugged, climbing onto the Skitter. The engine hummed as it rose into the air. “Okay. Lead the way.”

In the larger picture of the narrative arc, Davi has been crushing on her and she’s blown him off, but here she’s starting to at least warm up to him as a friendly person who’s going through some difficulty because of other people he doesn’t deserve. Students have been harrassing him in class because he’s the former leader of their rival group and Davi’s just trying to teach them well and frustrated with their attitude getting in the way. Here, Tela is concerned about Davi but there’s an awkwardness. He is hardly paying her any attention while she is completely focused and trying to engage with him. We are in her Point Of View, so snippets of her internal dialogue tell us how she’s feeling but it’s the “business” which tells us what might be going on emotionally and mentally with Davi. In the end, because he’s so focused on the Skitter’s (flying motorcycles essentially), Tela decides to shift tactics and use that to engage and takes him on a ride. But the tone of her interest and his disinterest initially says a lot about the status of their relationship. Notice, in this case, that the “business” also has nothing to do with the topic at hand. Again, multi-tasking is so common for us today, it’s a great way to add realism to a scene.

There are many ways to use the concept of “business” in writing. What are some that you can think of? How can you use this to enhance your own prose? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

For what it’s worth…