jokes |

I’ve been asked to write a Science Fiction and Fantasy Joke Ebook by Delabarre Publishing, after the success of my 102 More Hilarious Dinosaur Jokes For Kids released August 1st. And in doing research, I came across this and thought I’d share it. Here are Top 20 Scientist Answers to Why The Chicken Crossed The Road:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Archimedes: Because it had the inclination.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Andre Ampere: To keep up with current events.

Alexander Graham Bell: To get to the nearest phone.

Marie Curie: She was radiating with enthusiasm as she crossed the road.

Nicolaus Copernicus: Despite the evidence of your senses I can show that it is mathematically simpler to describe it as the road passing under the chicken.

C. J. Doppler: For its effect on passer-bys.

Thomas Edison: She thought it would be an illuminating experience.

Richard Feynman: It didn’t cross the road to the other side. It actually came back to where it started but was momentarily moving backward in time.

Jean Foucault: It didn’t. The rotation of the earth made it appear to cross.

Galileo: To get a better look at the stars.

Karl Gauss: Because of the magnetic personality of the rooster on the other side.

Stephen Hawking: The first seconds made the universe in such a way that chickens cross the road.

Werner Heisenberg: It was uncertain if it could make it, but wanted to try on general principles.

Newton: Because an apple fell on its head.

Ohm: There was more resistance on this side.

Pascal: It was pressured to cross the road.

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on this side of the road.

Volta: The other side had more potential.

James Watt: It thought it would be a good way to let off steam.

I do realize that some of these are funnier the greater your understanding of the various scientists’ views and work, but I hope they gave you a chuckle as they did me. And yes, I’d love to hear in comments if you know of other approaches not listed.

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novels The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Book Clubs Year’s Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, and The Returning, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and several short stories featured in anthologies and magazines. He edited the anthology Space Battles: Full Throttle Space Tales #6 for Flying Pen Press, headlined by Mike Resnick. A freelance editor, he’s edited novels and nonfiction and also hosts Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chat every Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter under the hashtag #sffwrtcht. A frequent contributor to Adventures In SF Publishing, Grasping For The Wind and SFSignal, he can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA.

Well, here it is at long last, the cover for my upcoming debut children’s book 102 More Hilarious Dinosaur Jokes For Kids.

Jeff Rutherford, publisher/editor of Delabarre Publishing sent it over today and I’m quite excited because the illustration samples he’s been sending for a while are really cool. The second in a series of joke book ebooks–Delabarre publishes many of these–I wrote it in February and it’s been in artwork and planning for a while. Expect to see release this Fall. I don’t know Even Peter, the artist, but I think he’s done a great job.

To give you an idea, here’s a couple of sample jokes:

What do you call it when you’re hit by a dinosaur? Dino-sore.

What do you call a dinosaur with stripes? Zebrasaurus

What do you call a singing dinosaur? A RAPtor.

(Yes, this is the cover image, note the gold chains.)

What do you call a dinosaur who sings opera? Divasaurus

What kind of ghost terrifies dinosaurs? Scare-o-saurus.

Silly? Yeah. But they’re for kids and hopefully they’re a combination of simple and clever that will keep them entertained. Most of them I made up although I did research a few more popular ones from the web that hadn’t been used in the prior book.

Thanks to the parents and kids who beta read the book and gave feedback and to Jeff and Evan as well.

Bryan Thomas Schmidt is the author of the space opera novels The Worker Prince, a Barnes & Noble Book Clubs Year’s Best SF Releases of 2011 Honorable Mention, and The Returning, the collection The North Star Serial, Part 1, and several short stories featured in anthologies and magazines. He edited the anthology Space Battles: Full Throttle Space Tales #6 for Flying Pen Press, headlined by Mike Resnick. As a freelance editor, he’s edited novels and nonfiction. He’s also the host of Science Fiction and Fantasy Writer’s Chat every Wednesday at 9 pm EST on Twitter under the hashtag #sffwrtcht. A frequent contributor to Adventures In SF Publishing, Grasping For The Wind and SFSignal, he can be found online as @BryanThomasS on Twitter or via his website. Bryan is an affiliate member of the SFWA. Bryan is currently at work on the Abe Lincoln: Dinosaur Hunter series of chapter book for Delabarre.